Transcript
WEBVTT
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What is going on?
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L&m family Welcome back.
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I have a pretty special interview with my buddy from my LinkedIn family member, my LinkedIn bud, Mr Clyde, hit me up and I missed the opportunity to have him on the show first because he recently came out on the Gaffers podcast, which was an awesome interview, and I'm going to get to talk to him.
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I just want to say like he's fresh perspective, different generation and what's exciting for me about having this conversation with Clyde he's going to change your mind.
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If you're hating on the younger generations, Clyde will change your mind.
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He's given me hope and enthusiasm.
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But before we get into learning more about Clyde, I want to give a shout out to our L&M family member who sent this awesome or actually it was a post they made on LinkedIn.
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Christopher White says I just finished reading Jesse's wonderful book.
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It's a reflection on our human experience.
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He reminds us that there are moments in life that, at time, don't seem to catch our attention but carry us away in certain directions.
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Where do you want to go today?
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Right now is the moment to take that step in that direction, christopher.
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Thank you, brother.
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I really appreciate that.
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It's super, super meaningful.
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And, folks, the book he's talking about is Becoming the Promise You're Intended to Be.
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You need to check it out.
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And also, if you're new here, we're going to talk about some tips, the tricks, the real truth around the unconventional path to success.
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It's not a straight line Over and over.
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My guests get to remind me that there are many pathways to success and I'm excited to hear how Mr Clyde has made that happen.
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Clyde, how you doing my brother, I'm doing wonderful.
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Jesse, how are you?
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Oh man, I'm living the life I'm, so blessed I've got nothing but gratitude.
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If I wanted to complain, I'm sure I got a million things to complain about, but it just ain't worth it.
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There's always something, but it ain't worth it.
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You just smile and keep moving.
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That's it, my man.
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That's it.
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And so you got to.
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I'm excited because, like you just had a big switch, a big transition I did.
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How are things in your world, my man?
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Amazing.
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I've put myself in a place where I didn't think I would end up, didn't know it existed.
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It just seems that everything that I've been doing and the effort that I've put in it's coming through.
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I'm seeing it now and it's a huge motivation to be able to sit back and go.
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I did this.
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It wasn't luck, it wasn't anything.
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I did it 10, 4.
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All right, so I'm going to dive all up into that, but before, what are the important juicy things that people need to know about you, mr Clyde, about?
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me yeah, I'm a family man.
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I'm a dad.
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That's my biggest descriptor.
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Anybody asks me anything.
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They don't ask me what I do.
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I'm a dad.
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It doesn't matter what my work is, it doesn't matter what my life's like.
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What matters is the family and being a father.
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Yeah, everything else will fall into place, everything will be what it is, but that family is the most important to me.
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So juicy details, I don't know.
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All I know is I started from the bottom.
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Yeah, I started dirty, I started messy.
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I started in the field, boots, on the ground, learning.
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And now, look, I'm in a dress shirt.
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I love it.
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So two things it's clear that being a father is a really important thing for you, and I know because I got to listen to your other interview.
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Thank you for that.
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Of course, man, you're welcome're welcome.
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Yeah, you see that dude that was, it was good stuff.
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It means a lot, and so weight, or the value that you place on being a father, how much of that is tied to the experience and relationship between you and your old man.
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All of it, yeah, why well, the way I describe it to people is a lot of people look at role models and that's go well.
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That's what I'm going to run my life.
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I'm going to run my life because this person was an excellent role model and they led me through the thick and the thin, showed me all the shortcuts, showed me life.
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I didn't have that.
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I learned what to do by seeing what not to do and I didn't have the family aspect that I wanted.
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So I don't know why, but I got that at an early age that there was a piece missing and it's hokey, it's corny, but there was many times in school where they asked me what are you going to do?
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And I'm like I just want to be a dad and a girl dad.
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I know that's a lot of things.
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A lot of guys are like I want this kid to be able to swing a baseball bat just like I did and stuff like that.
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I'm like I just want a little girl.
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Yeah.
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I just want love and I want to be able to give it and I want to be able to be what I didn't have, because, sure, I'm here now and, yeah, I've done well for myself, but what could it be?
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What could have been different if I had that?
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And I'm not letting my family go without that now 10-4.
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So for clarity, I think I got from your other story that it's not like your father was absent, but the relationship or maybe his availability is what you're talking about in terms of I didn't have that.
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Am I off base?
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No, you're not off base.
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There's the physical availability, and then there's the emotional availability.
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Construction industry is hard.
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It's 12 hour days.
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I used to wake up at five, six in the morning just to see my dad for half an hour while he sat there drinking coffee, watching the news, the breakfast news, and that was the time I had.
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And then he'd come home at night and he's tired.
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You've been chipping concrete, he's been riding on the side of a building in the sun baking all day, yep.
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So he comes home, he eats dinner, he starts a hockey game and he falls asleep by the second period.
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That's that was family, that was regular day.
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Yeah, yeah and yeah.
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So it was the emotional and the physical availability.
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He wasn't, he was a old school construction.
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That's what it is.
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And those old school guys, they don't realize that they're taking it home with them and how that affects them, and they took this attitude, this not misogyny, but this very alpha male construction, old school role, yep, and they come home and it's the same thing.
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So well, I've worked all day.
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Why am I gonna sit down with my kid?
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Yeah, I'm tired.
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Well, your kid wants you, so be there.
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And that lack of emotional availability really fueled my love and my desire to to that hole moving forward.
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It's that circle of trauma and it was the how do I put an end to it and how do I stop the recycling of all of the bad habits that has been passed down?
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So you're breaking the cycle.
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That's what comes through.
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Is the experience that you had with your dad being committed to work and doing his definition of fatherhood was made it clear to you.
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That's not.
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You're going to have a different definition.
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Yes, fatherhood in the construction industry is.
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I work hard, I'm going to come home and my day is done because I've worked hard today and that's not fair to anybody.
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So I want to break the cycle.
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I'm breaking the cycle at home with my family and my wife, but I want to break the cycle in the construction industry.
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I want to bang some heads together and let them know that there are things more important than your job.
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Sure sure, and so, knowing that was a situation with your pops and it was the industry, I'm going to say it wasn't the only contributing factor, but a huge contributing factor the fact that he worked in the construction industry.
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Why did you pick the construction industry?
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I didn't.
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I really didn't.
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So I went to school for firefighting, okay, and I thought I was one of those guys where I didn't know what I was going to do.
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Grade 12 hit and I'm like I've been having fun.
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I'm the social butterfly.
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What the heck am I going to do?
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And the danger, all of that firefighting stuff really appealed to me.
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The life, the salary, the benefits, all of that stuff was like this is how I'm going to break the cycle, this is how I'm going to move.
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And then I opened my medical textbook in class.
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With blood and guts and people sticking their legs through windows, I went ghost watching.
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I will crawl, I will search and rescue, I'll crawl through whatever fire you want, but don't show me a hangnail, I'll pass out.
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And I didn't know that I could do it to myself.
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I've damaged myself many a times and look at it and laugh and show people.
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But as soon as somebody showed me, I was like this is not, I can't do this.
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Do I do it and possibly go ghost white and let somebody down or let somebody get injured?
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Or do I pivot?
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Yeah, I pivoted and a lot of the teachers in the college were firefighters.
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So they said, hey, while you're working this stuff out, get into the construction industry, because they like seeing the long work hours, the working on the elements, stuff like that.
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So I spoke to my dad and I got a job.
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He was off at the time through an injury and I got on a swing stage and started up in the company that he was supervising for and took off From there.
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Okay.
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So I think there's an important lesson there, right?
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I don't think I know.
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I think about like my path.
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This was back in the 1900s.
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So when I graduated high school in 95.
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Yeah, I was one, you were were one.
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That is so awesome, that is just so awesome.
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And everyone around me told me and I thought I wanted to do it that I needed to be an engineer.
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I should be an engineer because I was good at math, this sort of thing.
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I didn't know what the hell engineers did like.
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I didn't even know what an engineer looked like.
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Now, fast forward to now, I would have failed miserably.
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I would have lost my mind or I would have caused everybody around me to lose their mind, because it's the environment, the conditions that work is done in, or the skill to do the work is done in is not suited for me.
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And so if you were going to advise another youngling coming out of high school that's kicking around ideas, or even out of high school kicking around ideas of what career to choose, what would you advise them in terms of making that selection or things to consider, as they're kicking that around?
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So before that I would love to jump in on your little story.
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My father also told me to be an engineer.
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Ah, okay, he told me to be an engineer because in his line of work that was the cream of the crop.
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Yeah, when an engineer showed up on site he went that's a good life.
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Look at them, they must be making a lot of money.
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Go do that.
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So that's where I was pushed from an early age.
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It was go be an engineer.
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I'd fail.
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I'd fail miserably, same as you.
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It's not my skill set, not the environment.
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I'm not the guy that wants to stare at a computer and read no, I do.
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Terrible.
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But to answer your question, one of the things that I've recently figured out and recently learned and something I will be passing along and I hope everybody figures, figures this out is find out who you are.
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First I didn't know I was a firefighter, but then I wasn't.
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I was a construction laborer, but then I wasn't.
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I was a project manager and then I wasn't, and I never really took the time to sort myself out.
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So how did you Wife kid time to sort myself out?
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So how did you Wife kids, journaling, meditation, all of these things I've discovered in the past few years really helped me take a breath and take a step back, and because we're all the LinkedIn friends.
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One of the things I did yesterday was I put up a post of what are your weaknesses and why are they weaknesses.
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Are they weaknesses Because in my post, everybody used to tell me I don't shut up.
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I was the kid that was friends with everybody.
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There was nobody that I couldn't make friends with.
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There was nobody that I couldn't build a relationship with.
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I was sitting by myself by the end of the year in every grade because they could not get me to stop talking to people and I always all my report cards.
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Everything is clyde never shuts up.
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Clyde is disturbing in class, clyde is this, clyde is that.
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But I was on all the teams.
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I was all for the social connection is really a natural need for you.
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It's a natural hunger, yeah I didn't know.
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I knew it, subconsciously I guess, but I didn't know that what makes me feel fulfilled is people.
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I had no idea.
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It always did fill the hole.
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I knew that subconsciously, but I wasn't aware of it.
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I did not make myself aware of it and a lot of thought, a lot of reflection went into it and I went what am I good good at?
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I was told I talk too much, but I'm really freaking good at it.
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Yes, I love it.
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What can I do?
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And I just started putting it in, just going what can I?
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Linkedin was the way I went, and sales and client relations and stuff like that was so energizing to me and it just took me way too frigging long to figure that out.
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So I would love it if there's any takeaway.
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Is that young person that's maybe considering the construction industry or considering any other industries Breathe, figure yourself out, write it down.
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Whatever you have to do that makes you feel fulfilled, because if you're not fulfilled, you're going to be down a path that you don't want to be, whether it's mental health or addiction or anything like that.
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You don't know where it's going to put you, but it'll put you there and you don't realize why it's doing that.
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Yes, cause you're.
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It is the lack of fulfillment For me.
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I know the lack of fulfillment, or chasing fulfillment through substances and other things, like you said, without me figuring out how I best serve, how to leverage the natural skills and talents I have in service to others.
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It took me a long time to figure that out like 40 years long time to figure that out, and there was a big chunk of that time where I filled that gap with self-destructive behaviors.
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You probably experienced this.
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You come out of school, you're going down a path, you said, oh crap, like hangnails, negative, I can't do the fireman thing.
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The people around you are suggesting that you do a certain thing and you, finally, you come to terms with no, but I need to do this thing.
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How did you work through that friction?
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Because I'm pretty sure that the people your friends, your family, et cetera are saying why are you doing that?
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That's not, you should do X, y, z, and they're not doing it to be ugly, but they're doing it, so it doesn't really matter why.
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How do you deal with that that was probably one of the hardest things for me, because people are my energy, because it really does affect me how people feel about me and what people think.
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So when I started getting the, what are you doing?
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Where are you going?
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Why aren't you following through with firefighting?
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That's the way to go without a good career.
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Blah, blah, blah.
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It affects you and it makes you feel depressed.
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It makes you feel like you're not living up to your potential, even though you don't know what your potential is.
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People are just telling you what they think is good and you go oh, that's my potential, but it's not.
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You know, clyde, I heard this I'm going to make it sound like I'm super smart.
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I was doing research and it was really a video on TikTok where I heard them say this.
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They say and I was like, oh my God, yes, because I've done that, like I've tortured people unintentionally because I said I decided that they had greater potential and so, anyways, the little thought was part of the problem with us is that we see the resources an individual has access to and we think about how we would leverage them and we call that seeing their potential Right.
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And that's like when I heard that, I'm like, oh, that's why some people, I drive them crazy or run them ragged is because I'm thinking about what I would do with that bucket of goodness that they have.
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That's not the same as what they will do.
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The best way I mean this is where I'm at with the whole thing is it's not necessarily driving them, pushing them to meet their potential.
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I would do better to help them become more resourceful because they have access to resources.
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All they need to figure out is how to use them and do what they want with them.
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What do you think about that?
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The way I like to think of it is bowling.
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Bowling is interesting because I treat you'll treat the pins as life goals, right, and anybody can throw a bowling ball down and, yeah, it might end up in a gutter and you might be homeless.
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You might be making paychecks, you might be ending up in a gutter, that's a chance.
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Ending up in a gutter, that's a chance on every throw.
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And then there's a chance of hitting every pin down.
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So when people talk to me and when I try and support people, I tell people don't be the bowling ball.
00:17:25.132 --> 00:17:26.135
You're not the bowling ball.
00:17:26.135 --> 00:17:29.383
Be those guides on the side that protect people from hitting the gutter.
00:17:29.383 --> 00:17:32.438
Yes, yes, that's all you need to be.
00:17:32.438 --> 00:17:34.886
They will chart, chart their course.
00:17:34.886 --> 00:17:38.278
They will know themselves better than anybody.
00:17:38.278 --> 00:17:41.807
You can talk to them, you can guide them, you can lead them to self-discovery.
00:17:41.807 --> 00:17:45.544
But at the end of the day, it's self-discovery and it needs to happen by themselves.
00:17:46.346 --> 00:17:46.867
Amazing.
00:17:46.867 --> 00:17:48.719
Be the guide, be the bumpers.
00:17:49.160 --> 00:17:50.201
Don't be the bowling ball.
00:17:50.201 --> 00:17:51.384
Don't be the bowling.
00:17:51.384 --> 00:17:52.386
You're not the bowling ball.
00:17:52.386 --> 00:17:55.615
You're not guilty of being the bowling ball.
00:17:55.615 --> 00:17:57.941
Everybody is, everybody is.
00:17:58.020 --> 00:18:04.346
It's not like everybody's perfect right, I have a four-year-old daughter and there's times where I see her and I go I'm gonna be the bowling ball here.
00:18:04.346 --> 00:18:13.778
Yeah, there's times where maybe somebody needs that right, but you can't make that decision for them, right, right, right, you be the guides.
00:18:13.778 --> 00:18:26.089
And if they decide, hey, I want you to throw this one, you throw this rock for me, then sure, but it's a path of self discovery that people need to be led on, guided through, not led yes, yes.
00:18:26.731 --> 00:18:34.366
So at the top of the call you talked about like you got to where you're at and it wasn't luck and I know you've just made a career change.
