Aug. 22, 2024

Career Pivots: Insights from Stefanie Reichman, an Unconventional Engineer

What if pursuing additional qualifications isn't the answer to career dissatisfaction? Join us as we sit down with Stefanie Reichman, a professional engineer whose unconventional path to earning her PE license sheds light on the deeper motivations behind career choices. Stefanie opens up about her Staten Island roots, her journey in civil engineering, and the pressures of advanced degrees, offering poignant advice for those contemplating further education. This episode is a treasure trove of insights for anyone considering a significant career pivot.

Ever felt unheard or undervalued at work? Our next segment delves into the crucial art of self-advocacy. Drawing from her own experiences as an immigrant facing language barriers and cultural expectations, Stefanie emphasizes the necessity of standing up for oneself with both tact and respect. We discuss the mental toll on young professionals who struggle to advocate for themselves and the importance of honest, respectful conversations—even when they're uncomfortable.

Finally, we navigate the complex terrain of resourcefulness versus potential, the unique challenges faced by women in male-dominated fields like construction, and the profound impact of vulnerability and community support. Stefanie shares her inspiring career transitions and the power of recognizing one's value. From the significance of mentorship to the joy of meaningful contributions, this episode is packed with practical advice and heartfelt stories that will inspire and guide anyone on their professional journey.

Connect with Stefanie:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/stefanie-reichman/

If you are feeling like making a career change Stefanie can help:
https://pensight.com/x/stefaniereichman/careerpivotblueprint

Let Primo know youre listening:
https://depthbuilder.bio.link/

Get on the path to Becoming the Promise You are Intended to Be
https://www.depthbuilder.com/books

Chapters

00:00 - Professional Engineering

11:52 - Advocating for Yourself in the Workplace

25:39 - Navigating Potential vs. Resourcefulness

32:45 - Recognizing and Leveraging Your Value

41:49 - Challenges Faced by Women in Construction

47:51 - Empowering Vulnerability and Growth

59:01 - Rooted in Happiness and Impact

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.240 --> 00:00:03.931
The thing that you need to answer for yourself is why am I doing this?

00:00:03.931 --> 00:00:09.211
The reason I got my PE is because it was one of those things that, for me, was like.

00:00:09.211 --> 00:00:13.111
It was the pinnacle of what I could achieve in my engineering career.

00:00:13.111 --> 00:00:16.329
It was something I had dreamed about since I was in college.

00:00:16.329 --> 00:00:21.271
It was something that, at the end of the day, I had to prove to myself that I could do.

00:00:21.271 --> 00:00:26.070
And the day I passed, my bosses didn't care.

00:00:26.070 --> 00:00:31.707
I didn't get a raise, I didn't get care in her office, nothing happened for me.

00:00:31.707 --> 00:00:54.320
There was certainly like an amount of frustration over that or disappointment, and, at the end of the day, the reason I got my PE is because in every room I'm going to walk into for the rest of my career, I can walk in and say I'm Stephanie and I'm a professional engineer, and nobody can take it away from me.

00:00:55.902 --> 00:00:57.386
What is going on?

00:00:57.386 --> 00:00:58.670
L&m family.

00:00:58.670 --> 00:01:04.688
I am super excited to introduce to you my friend, ms Stephanie Reichman.

00:01:04.688 --> 00:01:13.930
If you are flirting with the idea of making a career pivot, ms Stephanie has got what you need.

00:01:13.930 --> 00:01:15.173
She can help you get there.

00:01:15.173 --> 00:01:22.019
She's got a PE license License that's the right way to say it right which isn't a small thing.

00:01:22.019 --> 00:01:38.361
It's actually a pretty monumental thing, which means she's like practicing engineer and she's never done a day of engineering, because she has the courage to make ginormous shifts in her life so that she can continue to grow and serve in big, meaningful ways.

00:01:38.361 --> 00:01:42.152
So I'm super excited that you get to talk to her so I can learn from her as well.

00:01:42.152 --> 00:01:45.248
And if you don't know who I am, I'm Jesse.

00:01:45.248 --> 00:01:59.621
I get to host this learnings and missteps podcast, where I get to highlight the windy paths successful people walk and pull some of the lessons they learned along the way so you can take them and apply them to your path.

00:01:59.621 --> 00:02:03.149
And with that, miss Stephanie, how are you doing, sister?

00:02:03.168 --> 00:02:03.930
Hi, jancy.

00:02:03.930 --> 00:02:06.034
That is such a phenomenal intro.

00:02:06.034 --> 00:02:10.652
Your energy just like exudes, and I am here for it.

00:02:10.652 --> 00:02:14.502
We've obviously had some conversation before this.

00:02:14.502 --> 00:02:16.707
I always look forward to our chat.

00:02:16.707 --> 00:02:22.527
Even if I'm having not the best day ever, I know that talking to you is going to put a giant smile on my face.

00:02:22.527 --> 00:02:24.032
So thank you for what you do.

00:02:24.032 --> 00:02:26.364
Super excited to be here.

00:02:26.905 --> 00:02:32.872
Well, we might as well give the audience a heads up, right Like you and I, every time we get to talking, we get to talking.

00:02:32.872 --> 00:02:35.724
So hang on, people, we're going to have some fun here today.

00:02:35.724 --> 00:02:47.885
So, stephanie, you and I connected on LinkedIn, which which that seems to be a theme with most of the awesome guests that I have here that we've connected on LinkedIn in some form or fashion, and I don't know.

00:02:47.885 --> 00:02:55.490
From my perspective, it looks like you just slammed on the gas with this pivot, your career thing, which I think is beautiful.

00:02:55.490 --> 00:03:03.883
So many people need it because they're wrapped up, they kind of have handcuffs and but they're imaginary, like they're in their head, and you're helping them with that.

00:03:03.883 --> 00:03:10.099
So I absolutely want to talk about that, what you're doing now, all the things you have to offer.

00:03:10.099 --> 00:03:22.048
I absolutely want to learn how you got there, and I'd like to start with what are the juicy, savory nuggets that people need to know about?

00:03:22.048 --> 00:03:23.250
You miss step, stephanie.

00:03:23.631 --> 00:03:27.568
Okay, well, that was a lot to unpack, but we'll start maybe with the end.

00:03:27.568 --> 00:03:30.868
Everyone loves to talk about themselves, so I'll start there.

00:03:30.868 --> 00:03:35.008
Juicy Nugget, I'm originally from Staten Island, new York.

00:03:35.008 --> 00:03:42.842
Staten Island used to be just nothing, but then there was the Jersey Shore and Pete Davidson and now Staten Island's cool again, so I'm originally from there.

00:03:43.342 --> 00:03:47.247
When I had to take a major for college, I had no idea what to do.

00:03:47.247 --> 00:03:48.669
I was super confused.

00:03:48.669 --> 00:03:57.025
My older brother is an engineer and when he told people he was an engineer, everyone would have the exact same reaction.

00:03:57.025 --> 00:03:59.169
Everyone would say wow, you must be so smart.

00:03:59.169 --> 00:04:07.800
And as a middle child and seeing that a couple of years older than me, I was like what's the thing I can do?

00:04:07.800 --> 00:04:09.504
That too, I'm smart.

00:04:09.504 --> 00:04:14.884
There are like so many flaws in that whole thought process, but that didn't actually get me to engineering.

00:04:14.884 --> 00:04:17.271
So I appreciate all those white-eyed people.

00:04:17.271 --> 00:04:22.833
So I do have a civil engineering degree, an undergrad and a master's, because I just love school so much.

00:04:22.833 --> 00:04:29.920
And then, of course, I think I joked about this at some point, like if you're really confused about your career, just go get a master's.

00:04:29.920 --> 00:04:31.964
It's terrible advice, don't do it.

00:04:32.326 --> 00:04:35.973
So what I want to dig on that a little.

00:04:35.992 --> 00:04:50.091
I'm sorry to cut you off, but because I've had so many conversations with people that are stuck or frustrated or not having the best experience and they default to well, I'm going to go get my master's.

00:04:50.091 --> 00:05:01.692
And then it's almost as if there's this line of think that, well, say, a pathway that says if you get your master's, then your experience is going to be better in the field that you're at.

00:05:01.692 --> 00:05:02.822
Where does that?

00:05:02.822 --> 00:05:05.622
Is it because you gave everybody that advice?

00:05:05.622 --> 00:05:07.447
Or like, where do you think that comes from?

00:05:07.569 --> 00:05:19.723
Let me clarify that I grew up in a household where it was very expected for me to get a master's, and it was a disappointing time when I announced I was not getting a PhD.

00:05:19.723 --> 00:05:30.779
So that's where I grew up from Now, when I got my master's, I thought it was going to mean certain things for me in my career.

00:05:30.779 --> 00:05:43.675
I thought when I was going to start looking for a job I would have a line out the door of employers just begging me to come work for them at a six-figure salary right out of school.

00:05:43.675 --> 00:05:45.084
And that didn't happen.

00:05:45.084 --> 00:05:46.389
Far from it.

00:05:46.389 --> 00:05:47.987
It was not at all what happened.

00:05:48.701 --> 00:05:54.204
I also now very often get that question of I'm kind of stuck in my career, I don't know what's next.

00:05:54.204 --> 00:05:57.406
I'm thinking about getting a master's or a certificate.

00:05:57.406 --> 00:05:58.490
What do you recommend?

00:05:58.490 --> 00:05:59.353
What do you suggest?

00:05:59.353 --> 00:06:03.942
And I hate that question because, I agree with you, it's almost ingrained in us Go.

00:06:03.942 --> 00:06:06.968
And I hate that question because, I agree with you, it's almost ingrained in us Go, do this extra thing.

00:06:06.968 --> 00:06:10.334
And then suddenly all these things will happen.

00:06:10.673 --> 00:06:16.737
And in my own experience and the experience of people around me, the people that I've worked with, that's just not the case.

00:06:16.737 --> 00:06:24.261
I think if your employer says to you I'm going to pay for you to get this degree so that you can move into this role.

00:06:24.261 --> 00:06:32.007
Heck, you can go for it if you've stopped the capabilities for it, but to just stop working, lose out on that.

00:06:32.007 --> 00:06:34.288
It's a huge financial aspect to it.

00:06:34.288 --> 00:06:43.615
Master's programs are not cheap, and so I think it's really important to realize that you're going to dedicate a year, two years to a degree or certification, whatever it might be.

00:06:43.615 --> 00:06:47.466
Without any guarantees is a really scary place to be.

00:06:47.887 --> 00:06:49.411
I agree and I want to be clear.

00:06:49.411 --> 00:07:05.726
I applaud people that make the sacrifice to do that, because a lot of people are doing it with a family, maintaining a job, like they're taking on the load, and that's tremendous sacrifice, tremendous effort, tremendous commitment and it doesn't always work out.

00:07:05.726 --> 00:07:18.312
I mean, I have several friends that have their EdD and education and higher level degrees, post-grad degrees, and they needed it and it has 100% amplified their career path.

00:07:18.312 --> 00:07:25.411
But I have a lot of friends that same thing and it just it's just more letters at the end of their name.

00:07:25.411 --> 00:07:30.206
So, trying to figure out which way to go, I wonder what is?

00:07:30.206 --> 00:07:34.485
What are some of the criteria that people should consider, since you've walked that path?

00:07:34.564 --> 00:07:43.961
Yeah, so I've actually walked the path twice now, one with the degree and once with the certification, so I can come at it from two different directions.

00:07:43.961 --> 00:07:45.985
But just like to back up a little bit.

00:07:45.985 --> 00:07:52.345
I got my professional engineering license three years ago now and it was the same thing.

00:07:52.345 --> 00:07:57.531
The reason, I think, or the thing that you need to answer for yourself, is why am I doing this?

00:07:57.531 --> 00:08:09.168
So, if I'm walking back, the reason I got my PE is because it was one of those things that, for me, was like it was the pinnacle of what I could achieve in my engineering career.

00:08:09.168 --> 00:08:12.365
It was something I had dreamed about since I was in college.

00:08:12.365 --> 00:08:17.362
It was something that, at the end of the day, I had the proof to myself that I could do.

00:08:17.362 --> 00:08:20.067
Yeah, yes, I love that.

00:08:20.326 --> 00:08:24.432
And the day I passed, my bosses didn't care.

00:08:24.432 --> 00:08:30.045
I didn't get a raise, I didn't get care in her office, nothing happened for me.

00:08:30.045 --> 00:08:37.374
But and yes, there was certainly like an amount of frustration over that or disappointment.

00:08:37.374 --> 00:08:54.264
And at the end of the day, the reason I got my PE is because in every room I'm going to walk into for the rest of my career, I can walk in and say I'm Stephanie and I'm a professional engineer and nobody can take it away from me Nobody, and that's why I did it.

00:08:54.264 --> 00:09:02.745
The master's, in a sense, was also kind of the same reason, but I did both those things entirely for myself.

00:09:02.745 --> 00:09:05.732
I committed a ton of time to doing them.

00:09:05.732 --> 00:09:07.344
Was it the right decision?

00:09:07.344 --> 00:09:14.490
For somebody else, probably not, but for me it was, and I think it really has to be a feeling thing more than anything.

00:09:14.490 --> 00:09:22.471
And the realization that a master's is certification, those do kind of walk alongside you for your entire career, should you choose to utilize them.

00:09:22.471 --> 00:09:23.373
That's like it.

00:09:23.639 --> 00:09:26.706
No, I think two things you said that are ultra powerful.

00:09:26.706 --> 00:09:31.004
One is kind of stinky powerful and one is real power, like for real.

00:09:31.004 --> 00:09:36.123
They can't, nobody can take that away from you, and you did it to prove to yourself.

00:09:36.123 --> 00:09:54.721
That was the thing, and I think that's beautiful, because there's so many different things, so many different challenges that we can pick, or that we sit on the edge of picking because we're afraid or we are not sure, but when we actually do the damn thing, then it's man, I got game Like I can.

00:09:54.721 --> 00:09:59.312
This thing in front of me is not as big because I just did this thing over here.

00:09:59.801 --> 00:10:04.152
The not so beautiful thing is like the rest of the world doesn't care.

00:10:04.152 --> 00:10:30.315
You said like your bosses, they didn't get you a, you didn't get the corner office, you didn't get the special park, you just went back to work and kept doing the same thing I worked with back in the day one of my team members had just got his plumbing license and it's a big deal, right Like he did his stuff that he needed to do, went down to the state board of plumbing examiners here in Texas, took the test, passed the test, got his journeyman's license and I believed he should get a raise.

00:10:30.315 --> 00:10:36.245
So I called the boss, like boss, and said hey, so-and-so just passed this thing and we need to give him something.

00:10:36.245 --> 00:10:40.481
And the words that boss said back were why are we going to get?

00:10:40.481 --> 00:10:49.687
He's the same dumb ass he was yesterday and I was like, okay, but that's not cool, that's just not cool and it's kind of true.

00:10:50.249 --> 00:10:56.285
And so in there, I think there's this thing about intrinsic motivation.

00:10:56.285 --> 00:11:09.648
Right, if we pursue certain certificates, degrees, et cetera, and we're doing it that's motivated by an extrinsic situation, I think we're setting ourselves up for disappointment.

00:11:09.648 --> 00:11:10.350
What do you think?

00:11:10.350 --> 00:11:25.591
And before we get to know a little bit more about Miss Stephanie, I want to do the L&M family shout out to Mr Adam Hoots, dj Hooty Hoots, he left me this cool little thought.

00:11:25.591 --> 00:11:32.650
He said this book will have you reflecting on your own life and the learnings and missteps you took.

00:11:32.650 --> 00:11:38.672
Solid work, jesse, and the book he's talking about is Becoming the Promise you Are Intended to Be.

00:11:38.672 --> 00:11:45.125
So, hoots, thank you, and the rest of the L&M family members out there, shoot me a comment, a DM, it doesn't matter.

00:11:45.125 --> 00:11:49.071
I want to highlight you as much and as often as I possibly can.

00:11:51.662 --> 00:11:52.706
I definitely agree with that.

00:11:52.706 --> 00:12:02.595
I will say, with your plumbing example, I think it kind of takes it to the next level of, once you do all those things, that's not where the work ends for you.

00:12:02.595 --> 00:12:06.664
Those things, that's not where the work ends for you.

00:12:06.664 --> 00:12:16.594
Once you're done, you need to restart the cycle and start advocating for yourself, because you aren't the same dumb ass you were yesterday, because you're now a dumb ass plus your plumbing license, and that is a difference.

00:12:20.407 --> 00:12:20.868
I love it.

00:12:20.868 --> 00:12:22.330
Okay, this is a big one.

00:12:22.330 --> 00:12:30.951
Is that a class that you took in your master's course, or how did you learn and master how to advocate for yourself?

00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:41.404
So I feel, like all these sets of things, it probably has something to do with my childhood, but in all seriousness, this is totally a tangent, but I was actually.

00:12:41.404 --> 00:12:42.327
I'm an immigrant.

00:12:42.327 --> 00:13:04.932
I was born overseas and moved to New York when I was nine and I didn't speak any English and was like wow, this is kind of strange, because nobody can speak the languages that I'm conversing in, and I need to figure it out Because otherwise I will always be the weirdo using colored pencils instead of crayons.

00:13:04.932 --> 00:13:06.904
I still don't like crayons.

00:13:06.904 --> 00:13:07.947
That's so awesome.

00:13:07.967 --> 00:13:08.770
They're very triggering.

00:13:09.139 --> 00:13:10.759
And I think it kind of got to that.

00:13:10.759 --> 00:13:28.587
I saw it really early on where people would just assume that I wasn't good at math or I wasn't good at English, which I wasn't, or wasn't good at vocabulary or something like that, and teachers would make remarks or kids would make remarks and it would get to the point where it's no, I don't agree with you.

00:13:28.587 --> 00:13:33.943
And kind of looking around you and saying the teacher just said that Are you just going to take it?

00:13:33.943 --> 00:13:36.567
Because, like, who else is going to stick up for you?

00:13:36.567 --> 00:13:38.004
My mom's not in the class.

00:13:38.004 --> 00:13:47.126
And I think it just kind of kept building on itself until yeah, myself until yeah, and had a lot of years of practice and advocating for myself.

00:13:47.126 --> 00:13:51.259
But yeah, I think it just came out of cheering me, don't looking around and being like are you gonna take again?

00:13:51.620 --> 00:13:51.961
yeah.

00:13:51.961 --> 00:14:01.648
No, I think I love that you take can connect it back to, like your, the experiences you had in your formative years, because a lot of stuff happens in that time.

00:14:01.648 --> 00:14:12.510
Now there's a bigger conversation that we probably shouldn't touch about properly advocating for oneself and improperly advocating.

00:14:12.510 --> 00:14:15.322
My assumption is that you did it with tact.

00:14:15.322 --> 00:14:20.041
Whereas you know me, stephanie, and the rest of the family out there knows me, I didn't.

00:14:20.041 --> 00:14:25.349
It was like I did it the worst way you possibly can and it didn't.

00:14:25.349 --> 00:14:29.495
It caused some pain, some learning pains for me, which was fine because it got me attention.

00:14:29.495 --> 00:14:32.183
Attention is good, all attention is good.

00:14:32.183 --> 00:14:33.368
Attention in Jesse land.

00:14:33.368 --> 00:14:49.649
Now, under the assumption that you advocated for yourself with tact, in an amicable manner, did you still face some kind of judgment, resistance or friction when you do advocate for yourself, and how'd you deal with it?

00:14:49.711 --> 00:14:50.639
Yeah, great question.

00:14:50.639 --> 00:14:59.581
So I think as my confidence level grew, especially in my career, I had a degree like my engineering degree.

00:14:59.581 --> 00:15:44.543
I take a lot of pride in that and that made me feel a certain type of way walking into a room the PEs of that too and I think as I gained that confidence, people around me were getting kind of uncomfortable by what I had already achieved, and I think that then causes a bit of an imbalance perceived imbalance because I might be asking for something that I think I'm worth because of my self-worth being tied to these things that I've accomplished, but other people aren't, don't have that kind of background and maybe they believe in the school of hard knocks and you should have this experience and you need to send 20 years' pay to your desk before you can even think about asking something like that.

00:15:44.543 --> 00:15:49.153
And I'd come here that's amazing, though I'd be like no, I think I deserve a raise.

00:15:49.153 --> 00:16:06.240
And so I think that there certainly has been a lot of like mismatches, like getting my porn across there, and my personal belief and and what I work with other people on is you can say anything you want, as long as it's the truth and you're being respectful.

00:16:06.942 --> 00:16:18.562
That's always been my guiding principle, and if someone can't accept that, if they can't accept the truth that you know a thing, but as long as you're being respectful, then you're having just a conversation about it.

00:16:18.562 --> 00:16:26.759
Not everything needs to be like, okay, we're getting ready for war, we're not getting ready for war, we are simply gonna have a for war, we are simply going to have a conversation as adults.

00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:31.552
And it's the person that's refuting that conversation and they're melting up a war.

00:16:31.552 --> 00:16:35.691
Well then, it's maybe not the right person, not the right time.

00:16:35.691 --> 00:16:38.168
They're just not open to having the conversation at all.

00:16:38.168 --> 00:16:41.399
And it wouldn't matter if you had the 30 years of experience.

00:16:41.399 --> 00:16:43.687
They still don't want to have that conversation with you.

00:16:44.188 --> 00:16:49.961
Yeah, yeah, that's so true.

00:16:49.961 --> 00:16:51.384
There's some people that, jay, they just can't hear anything.

00:16:51.384 --> 00:16:56.264
So it don't matter what the tone is or when you're going to have it, it's wasted breath, like they, just it's not going to penetrate.

00:16:56.264 --> 00:16:58.513
Now, what would you recommend?

00:16:58.833 --> 00:17:05.692
I get to talk with a lot of young professionals, and when I say young, I mean like the first 10 years of their career.

00:17:05.692 --> 00:17:08.686
I think that's age-wise, that's not a lot of time.

00:17:08.686 --> 00:17:11.865
Well, when you have highlights, like me, 10 years isn't a lot of time.

00:17:11.865 --> 00:17:21.593
But I see a curious thing and this is not a generational question, because I saw it when I was right out of high school, working in the field and so forth.

00:17:21.593 --> 00:17:23.566
So it's a thing that's happened the whole way through.

00:17:24.027 --> 00:17:43.682
But I see some young professionals that will not advocate for themselves and they're utterly irritated, disappointed and frustrated because the environment doesn't accommodate them and that's not good for that mental wellness, right, that's really not good for them as an individual.

00:17:43.682 --> 00:17:45.226
So they're pretty damn miserable.

00:17:45.226 --> 00:17:51.989
But when they advocate for themselves, I wouldn't qualify it as advocating, because it's really just complaining.

00:17:51.989 --> 00:17:58.388
When they complain and send an email to the CEO because nobody's listening to me, what do you suggest?

00:17:58.388 --> 00:18:07.913
That young professional that doesn't speak up for themselves, to their direct supervisor or to their immediate circle of colleagues and advocate for themselves.

00:18:07.913 --> 00:18:21.473
What do you recommend they do to start like to start doing it so that they can get some results, because I know you've done it like your career path shows that you're just not going to tolerate so much for so long.

00:18:21.473 --> 00:18:22.766
That's the way I'm reading.

00:18:22.807 --> 00:18:24.134
Yeah, what do you say?

00:18:24.134 --> 00:18:37.950
First of all, I love that question because I think it's really easy to go out there and say advocate for yourself and negotiate that salary, and then people are like, yeah, but then you're kind of left with I don't know how or what, or like even how to talk about that.

00:18:37.970 --> 00:18:38.952
So love that question.

00:18:38.952 --> 00:18:41.862
I think it's a couple different pieces.

00:18:41.862 --> 00:19:14.905
First of all, for me, especially in my working kind of career, when I learned flash understood what well-employment meant, that was like a mindset You're excited, yes, because I think, because I have a lot of friends they work in like different industries, different jobs, and so often it'll be like years of I hate this and my boss sucks and I'm not getting the promotion, I'm not getting the raise, and every single time it's the same question why don't you leave?

00:19:14.905 --> 00:19:18.394
You're not required to stay there.

00:19:18.394 --> 00:19:24.388
Pn7, for anyone listening to this, if you don't like your job, you don't have to stay.

00:19:24.388 --> 00:19:26.113
It's not said enough.

00:19:26.660 --> 00:19:38.721
I remember, like one of my jobs, that I wasn't getting the fulfillment that I had wanted and somebody close to me had said well, you should stay at this job for at least this number of years.

00:19:38.721 --> 00:19:43.342
And I remember being so taken aback because I was like, oh, I should, probably that makes sense.

00:19:43.342 --> 00:19:45.869
Like I don't want to be seen as like a job huffer or this or that.

00:19:45.869 --> 00:19:59.498
But in the meantime, to your earlier point, like your mental health is suffering, you're not happy, maybe you, maybe you've advocated, maybe you've had conversations, but like the company is just, it is what it is, and so at Will.

00:19:59.498 --> 00:20:00.019
Employment.

00:20:00.019 --> 00:20:04.436
Number one thing you can leave whenever you want my designation letter.

00:20:04.436 --> 00:20:08.066
Don't burn any bridges, just say thank you and just move on.

00:20:08.066 --> 00:20:10.357
Number one I want to say that is.

00:20:10.438 --> 00:20:16.169
I know how difficult that is, but I also know that pick your boss right.

00:20:16.169 --> 00:20:21.186
Pick the people you work with, because if they're buttheads it's not going to be fun.

00:20:21.186 --> 00:20:28.167
Unless they're your flavor of butthead, it doesn't take long to figure out that you're in an unhealthy environment.

00:20:28.167 --> 00:20:35.722
Right the conditions of the workspace, regardless of how fancy the damn website was and the recruiter made everything sound.

00:20:35.722 --> 00:20:40.243
When you actually go sit and share space, you can feel it and you don't have.

00:20:40.263 --> 00:20:42.916
You could leave, you can leave.

00:20:42.916 --> 00:21:18.675
I think when you realize that you hold so much power you hold all the power of your own life, in your own career and being able to say I thought this was for me, but it's not there is so much power in that statement instead of saying like I'm gonna make it work, I'm to wait for the next review cycle, the next one's going to be mine I'm going to prove myself blah, blah, blah, because once those things start happening like it's not going to get better and I hate being the person to burst your bubble if you think that it is going to get better, but it probably isn't- oh, so true, so true.

00:21:18.715 --> 00:21:23.459
Right to work, right to leave, like, just make your own conditions.

00:21:23.459 --> 00:21:37.528
Now you and I have talked about it and, looking on your LinkedIn profile, you've made some significant shifts in terms of careers, so you're not just saying hypothetically make a better choice for yourself.

00:21:37.528 --> 00:21:38.628
You've done it.

00:21:38.628 --> 00:21:39.308
Now.

00:21:39.308 --> 00:21:41.411
Was it easy?

00:21:41.411 --> 00:21:42.351
What was it like?

00:21:42.351 --> 00:21:45.395
What did it feel like when you made the first jump from?

00:21:45.395 --> 00:21:50.307
I think you were in like an engineer and then it was like wait a minute, they this.

00:21:50.307 --> 00:21:52.420
They said vanilla, this ain't vanilla.

00:21:53.683 --> 00:21:53.984
Yeah.

00:21:53.984 --> 00:21:59.940
So I worked for a engineering company as a project manager and I saw it.

00:21:59.940 --> 00:22:06.441
The reason I got my master's, the reason I really did my whole career up until that point, was to be a project manager.

00:22:06.441 --> 00:22:12.301
So when I got to that point and became a project manager was like this is not fun.

00:22:12.301 --> 00:22:15.184
I didn't like it for several different reasons.

00:22:15.184 --> 00:22:26.820
It was a lot more stress than I wanted and a stress that I didn't enjoy and I maybe didn't really have the tools that I needed to be successful in that ring and that was really hard.

00:22:26.820 --> 00:22:36.865
And I was very obsessed with title and that was really important to me was to have that project manager title because I thought that again, that was going to unlock the next level for me.

00:22:36.865 --> 00:22:42.446
And so I went into that role without really thinking about like, how are they going to train me?

00:22:42.446 --> 00:22:44.743
How are they going to help me actually be successful?

00:22:44.743 --> 00:22:54.384
So when I realized that wasn't a job for me again in my civil engineering school days, it was only true path that, like an engineer, could go down.

00:22:54.555 --> 00:23:05.336
It was either you worked for an engineering company, which I had done I didn't like, or you can go work in construction, which I yeah, I had always really enjoyed construction.

00:23:05.336 --> 00:23:11.278
I had four internships that were really construction heavy and I was like heck, yeah, let's go do it.

00:23:11.278 --> 00:23:19.242
I actually started a virtual design and construction team for this general contractor, which again was like a very fancy title.

00:23:19.242 --> 00:23:31.823
I didn't consider training again Some people don't learn from their mistake that is me but I did have quite a bit of background in like that BDNC space, so I felt comfortable with that.

00:23:31.823 --> 00:23:33.882
How do I feel making that transition?

00:23:33.882 --> 00:23:35.400
I was terrified.

00:23:35.400 --> 00:23:38.601
I was yeah, I mean I was really excited.

00:23:38.601 --> 00:23:46.638
I think I was a lot more cognizant of the fact that I didn't have this experience of like how to start a department.

00:23:46.638 --> 00:23:49.704
It was very exciting, but also really scary.

00:23:49.704 --> 00:23:52.958
I think I had a lot of but I did it, I did it.

00:23:53.138 --> 00:23:58.679
I had a lot of support in the early days of what that vision looked like and then was able to run with it.

00:23:58.679 --> 00:24:00.482
But yeah, that's that pivot.

00:24:00.482 --> 00:24:04.296
The first time was pretty scary run with it.

00:24:04.375 --> 00:24:06.298
But yeah, that pivot the first time was pretty scary.

00:24:06.298 --> 00:24:09.945
Okay, you said an arrangement of words that I think probably need to be my next neck tattoo.

00:24:09.965 --> 00:24:15.202
You said about your first job that it was stress, but it wasn't the kind of stress that you enjoy.

00:24:15.202 --> 00:24:20.662
So what I like about those words is there is no escaping stress.

00:24:20.662 --> 00:24:28.025
I mean, unless you know the secret, stress is just a part of life, but there's stress that sucks the life out of us.

00:24:28.025 --> 00:24:30.784
And then there's stress that you enjoy.

00:24:30.784 --> 00:24:45.739
So how would you describe the stress that you enjoy, stephanie and the reason I'm asking this is so that we can cause a little bit of a mind shift to the younglings out there that are listening to this it's not all bad.

00:24:45.739 --> 00:24:51.538
Think about what it is and frame it in such a way that you can use it as fuel.

00:24:51.538 --> 00:24:54.385
So, like, how would you describe the stress that you enjoy?

00:24:54.555 --> 00:24:57.602
Yeah, I always love creative problem solving.

00:24:57.602 --> 00:24:58.825
I always have.

00:24:58.825 --> 00:25:03.462
I think it's what drew me to engineering, kept me there, has pushed me in all these different roles.

00:25:03.462 --> 00:25:08.396
I love a problem that I can sink my teeth into and come up with weird solutions.

00:25:08.396 --> 00:25:14.357
That is also stressful for me, though, because it's usually a problem I need to solve somewhat quickly.

00:25:14.357 --> 00:25:24.218
I'll say that, like starting this little side business I have now, like coaching people, helping people, that brings with it a ton of creative stress and shirving.

00:25:24.278 --> 00:25:30.207
That I love, not only in the logistics of setting stuff up, but also talking with people and coaching them.

00:25:30.207 --> 00:25:33.679
Like, every person is a little bit different, so I can't tell them.

00:25:33.679 --> 00:25:49.424
If I were you, I would do this and I'm defending an army of clones, but I really like to push the people I work with to really think about what do you enjoy in this job and what don't you enjoy, and really making a list of 10 things that you love and you hate.

00:25:49.424 --> 00:25:59.161
The first three or four are always really easy to come up with, but then the other ones get a little bit harder, and that's kind of where the magic is so a little tip there.

00:25:59.494 --> 00:26:25.117
No, I think that's helpful, like folks can sit there and make a list of what they enjoy, what they don't enjoy, to get clear about what, like those stressors are, because I mean, I kind of need stress, right, I like pressure, I like to be on the spot, I like to be off the hip, if you will, on the stage, like that's where I'm having a good time and most people like Jesse, you're freaking nuts.

00:26:25.117 --> 00:26:26.442
I would never do that.

00:26:26.442 --> 00:26:35.483
Yeah, I know, but for me it's amazing, like slow, planned out, itemized, step-by-step, not the kind of stress I enjoy now.

00:26:35.483 --> 00:26:52.425
So you got your master's, you got your engineer certificate, both huge right, worked to work for an engineering firm, went into construction and started a department, and so I want to make, I want to go here, so that people don't miss this.

00:26:52.425 --> 00:27:03.320
You went into construction new industry, not totally new, because you spent some time there but you went to this company and they said hey, stephanie, we need you to start our VDC department.

00:27:03.320 --> 00:27:12.583
And you said, sure, not knowing how the hell to start a department or what the hell that even meant, and you did it anyways.

00:27:13.435 --> 00:27:23.325
I was talking to my last interview with Clyde and we were talking about how we confuse the resources people have access to and call it potential.

00:27:23.325 --> 00:27:27.981
So I want to know what you think about this idea, because I'm trying to change my mind around this.

00:27:27.981 --> 00:27:47.863
What's clear is, I know the way to get impossible things done is to access every damn resource I have access to like period, because I don't have what it takes to do impossible things, but I know a bunch of people and they can help me get there, so that is resourcefulness.

00:27:47.863 --> 00:27:53.987
Now, what we see in people, here's the question, or the thought I want you to kick around with me.

00:27:54.488 --> 00:27:58.723
Many times, I've seen people and say man, they got so much potential.

00:27:58.723 --> 00:28:10.423
I'm going to take them here, right, I'm going to take them to the next level, I'm going to challenge them and grow them in a particular direction, and then they don't fulfill that, and then it's like well, untapped potential.

00:28:10.423 --> 00:28:15.580
What I was really seeing, though, was the resources they have access to.

00:28:15.580 --> 00:28:18.968
I'm seeing that they have a good mind for problem solving.

00:28:18.968 --> 00:28:26.787
I'm seeing that they're great communicators, I'm seeing that they have influence around the people in their circles, and I'm confusing that for potential.

00:28:26.787 --> 00:28:35.509
What I need to do is teach them how to be resourceful so that they can then leverage and grow that potential.

00:28:35.509 --> 00:28:36.277
What do you think of?

00:28:36.277 --> 00:28:38.162
Is that splitting hairs too fine there?

00:28:38.363 --> 00:28:44.117
I think it's really interesting and I'm thinking I really hope this person doesn't watch this podcast.

00:28:44.117 --> 00:29:09.065
I'll be honest, but when I was in middle school, there was someone in my class I won't even name the and so when you said potential, I immediately thought of this person and I remember one teacher described them as a sponge.

00:29:09.065 --> 00:29:14.580
It may be like a separate maybe, I don't want to confuse the thing, but I always found that really cool.

00:29:14.580 --> 00:29:17.364
Like they were sponge, they absorbed information.

00:29:17.364 --> 00:29:19.122
I was like that's really cool.

00:29:19.122 --> 00:29:24.420
I like the sponge concept, which is almost like the resourcefulness that you're talking about.

00:29:24.420 --> 00:29:34.215
I have never liked the concept of potential, because I'm thinking again of that particular person and again.

00:29:34.277 --> 00:29:40.003
I don't know if that was an artistic, but I can't really say that they did anything extraordinary so far.

00:29:40.003 --> 00:29:40.846
So far.

00:29:40.846 --> 00:29:42.147
We're still young, we still got time.

00:29:42.147 --> 00:29:43.679
Yeah, we got time time.

00:29:43.679 --> 00:29:48.924
The college they went to wasn't like they didn't go to MIT, it was just everything was just normal.

00:29:48.924 --> 00:30:02.035
It's the fact that everyone was like this person is like Einstein, I think it like raised the level in such a weird and it was so unfair to that person because they were on like a different level than the rest of us.

00:30:02.035 --> 00:30:08.192
Like we were just like whatever kid and this person I didn't even speak any english.

00:30:08.211 --> 00:30:16.711
They're like whatever it's that makes you the last, but this person is then everything and so right.

00:30:16.711 --> 00:30:29.715
I've seen that along my career where there'd be like one person that stood up as this disperse is going places and they were like being groomed or like extra attention and they were getting taken out to lunches.

00:30:29.715 --> 00:30:43.564
And I think that makes it really unfair to that person, because they learn to forget how to be resourceful, because they're just like things are just kind of coming their way and when something doesn't come their way, what do I do now?

00:30:43.564 --> 00:30:53.089
And so if we have to make camps of a resourcefulness camp and like a potential camp, I'm definitely on the resourceful camp and I'm okay there.

00:30:53.616 --> 00:30:54.279
Oh, I love it.

00:30:54.279 --> 00:31:04.317
No, I think you've helped me see it a little clearer because, yeah, in recent situations I say recent, when I say recent, I'm talking the last 10 years you remember the highlights.

00:31:04.317 --> 00:31:07.183
Recent is relative I was on a path.

00:31:07.183 --> 00:31:15.856
The companies were grooming me for a particular path that I had absolutely no interest in and they were fancy like fancy, fancy pants.

00:31:17.239 --> 00:31:21.468
And I remember feeling I don't, why are y'all making me do this?

00:31:21.468 --> 00:31:25.683
I know a few people that want this stupid thing that you're like handing to me.

00:31:25.683 --> 00:31:29.555
I don't care, You're going to put me in situations to be visible.

00:31:29.555 --> 00:31:34.463
And then I'm like you're wasting it on me and one of the conversations, well, what are you afraid of?

00:31:34.463 --> 00:31:38.604
I was like I'm not afraid of anything, I just have no interest in that thing.

00:31:38.604 --> 00:31:45.056
I understand why you think I should be there and I appreciate that, but I don't want that.

00:31:45.056 --> 00:31:46.397
I want this.

00:31:46.818 --> 00:31:54.703
And so the resources that they made available to me to shoot down that path, I completely didn't do anything with them.

00:31:54.703 --> 00:32:00.057
Now I chose to not use those resources, and I think I love the way you said it.

00:32:00.057 --> 00:32:16.127
If there's a resource camp or a resourcefulness camp and a potential camp, let's go to the resourcefulness camp, and so I imagine, in terms of this idea of resourcefulness you built that you talked about you coming in as an immigrant and you're multilingual.

00:32:16.127 --> 00:32:18.970
Like you didn't just say one language, how many?

00:32:18.970 --> 00:32:22.051
Let me guess I'm going to say four languages.

00:32:22.051 --> 00:32:23.512
Is it four languages?

00:32:24.275 --> 00:32:27.278
I guess when I moved it was technically four languages.

00:32:27.278 --> 00:32:33.343
Yeah, I ran out of parents to speak one of the languages left, so I don't speak one language anymore.

00:32:33.343 --> 00:32:39.087
So we are down to three freaking amazing.

00:32:39.709 --> 00:33:12.364
But learning a new language and connecting and being like, I'll just say, surviving that experience is not easy, like it requires some significant resourcefulness just to use your environment to communicate right, because at that point that's what it's going to take, and only reason I know that is because one of my ex-wives her parents only spoke Spanish and at this time in my life this was way, way back I didn't speak any Spanish, so I had to like I'm thirsty, you know, like I had to use my coffee, like I had to use my environment to communicate.

00:33:12.364 --> 00:33:20.364
So, anyways, so you did the VDC thing, which is no small thing, and I love the way you're just so genuine and humble about.

00:33:20.364 --> 00:33:27.806
Yeah, I started a VDC department, spent a bunch of time there, and then you shifted into like a whole other different galaxy.

00:33:27.826 --> 00:33:29.637
Yeah, that is correct.

00:33:29.637 --> 00:33:31.342
I shifted to a whole other galaxy.

00:33:31.342 --> 00:33:34.875
Yeah, I guess just fill in a couple of holds there.

00:33:34.875 --> 00:33:38.461
So I kind of knew that I was reaching the end of my construction journey.

00:33:38.461 --> 00:33:47.431
I was reaching the end of my construction journey, I was studying for the PE and I passed the PE and then nothing happened.

00:33:47.892 --> 00:33:52.926
And I think any woman that's listening to this you know that there are certainly things that are a little bit harder.

00:33:52.926 --> 00:34:13.021
The pregnancy was hard because of my environment and I had my baby and said I can't go back to that environment, I'm too upset, I'm too stressed the bad stress now because I have to clarify that I'm too upset, I can't go back and I have this baby.

00:34:13.021 --> 00:34:16.224
I was fortunate to take the time to be with baby.

00:34:16.224 --> 00:34:24.427
I was also kind of confused because, if we go like a little bit further, I really believe that there were two paths for me as a civil engineer.

00:34:24.427 --> 00:34:26.574
There was the engineering, there was construction.

00:34:26.574 --> 00:34:36.563
I had now done both and it was like five years into my career and I was like I don't like either of these and I'm supposed to work for a long time.

00:34:36.563 --> 00:34:38.478
What do I do?

00:34:38.579 --> 00:34:39.764
Simple math, it was simple.

00:34:40.615 --> 00:34:46.226
Both part of math right there and I was honestly just really just shocked.

00:34:46.226 --> 00:34:55.581
I had interviewed prior, while I was pregnant, with some construction tech companies, so it kind of opened up my eyes, but a lot of different things happened.

00:34:55.581 --> 00:35:00.641
None of those were all panned out and so I was nervous Is this even possible for me?

00:35:00.641 --> 00:35:01.838
Can I even go?

00:35:01.838 --> 00:35:04.206
Did anyone in construction tech actually want me?

00:35:04.206 --> 00:35:08.365
Because the feedback I was getting was honestly not good.

00:35:08.365 --> 00:35:11.063
I think it wasn't necessarily towards me.

00:35:11.063 --> 00:35:18.940
In hindsight, with the perspective I have now, I think those specific companies have broken hiring system and then ISIS said that to me.

00:35:18.940 --> 00:35:26.880
They obviously don't want me because they're on this 15th interview process and that's their problem.

00:35:26.880 --> 00:35:27.981
It's not me.

00:35:28.001 --> 00:35:35.686
That took me a while to get there, though I can say a lot of these things now it's been like a few years and I'm like yeah, it wasn't them, it wasn't me.

00:35:35.686 --> 00:35:38.699
At the time I was like it is me, I'm the problem.

00:35:38.699 --> 00:36:00.570
So I said at the time I think I'm fortunate enough to take seven to eight months off work and the biggest realization I had during that time was like I love my career, I really want to go back to work, I love it and I have a sense of fulfillment at work, building something, contributing to a team that I really miss and that I crave.

00:36:00.570 --> 00:36:13.320
I want to go to contributing to a team that I really miss and that I crave and want to go to, but I also had all these experiences that I didn't like, that had taken so much energy out of me that, if I'm going to go back to work, I'm not currently working.

00:36:13.320 --> 00:36:19.106
I'm going to be so picky about what I want yeah.

00:36:19.726 --> 00:36:20.929
I love it yes.

00:36:21.297 --> 00:36:24.414
And again back to that earlier conversation about advocating for yourself.

00:36:24.414 --> 00:36:30.856
Like at this point I was looking at myself in the mirror and saying this is what you bring to a company.

00:36:30.856 --> 00:36:39.795
And because you kind of have to pump yourself up in these moments, I was like, and these are pretty cool things, like I've done some cool things, I can contribute these to a company.

00:36:39.795 --> 00:36:45.280
Let's find the right match this time, because previously we haven't done that.

00:36:45.340 --> 00:36:46.521
Yeah, yeah.

00:36:46.521 --> 00:36:54.307
So there's one thing I want to touch on there is and there's a balance, and it took me a long time to learn this, long, long time.

00:36:54.307 --> 00:37:04.398
When I have a body of work, I did it wrong on both sides of the fence, meaning before I started my business.

00:37:04.398 --> 00:37:04.860
I had this plan right.

00:37:04.860 --> 00:37:08.918
I had to do these different things so that I could build up credibility, so that I could start a business, so that I could have business.

00:37:08.918 --> 00:37:12.648
I didn't realize that I already had credibility.

00:37:13.135 --> 00:37:16.445
So on one side of the, let's say, camps, there's two camps.

00:37:16.445 --> 00:37:18.114
There's probably more, but I just want to talk about two.

00:37:18.114 --> 00:37:26.039
One camp is we have credibility because we have contributed in the industry or in a specific area.

00:37:26.039 --> 00:37:34.324
We have experience, we've delivered value, we've contributed to happiness to other people, and that has value.

00:37:34.324 --> 00:37:36.485
But we undervalue it.

00:37:36.485 --> 00:37:38.786
And, more specifically, I did.

00:37:38.786 --> 00:37:58.119
I couldn't, I was blind to it because I didn't have the credentials and whatever Bunch of reasons that I couldn't see the credibility, I couldn't see my body of work, which is funny, because the first 10 years of my career I was like what do you mean?

00:37:58.119 --> 00:37:58.561
I got to wait in line.

00:37:58.561 --> 00:37:58.862
What interview?

00:37:58.862 --> 00:38:02.498
You're not just going to offer me all the money, like why am I not for real?

00:38:02.498 --> 00:38:10.909
I just I don't know if I've told you this the first like real job, I had was working at Kentucky fried chicken.

00:38:10.929 --> 00:38:11.510
Have you ever KFC?

00:38:11.510 --> 00:38:12.273
I don't think I ever had eaten KFC.

00:38:12.273 --> 00:38:12.335
No.

00:38:13.054 --> 00:38:14.679
Oh, you got to try the extra tasty.

00:38:14.679 --> 00:38:16.644
Crispy girl is good fried chicken.

00:38:16.644 --> 00:38:20.039
Anyhow, I was whatever 16 years old.

00:38:20.039 --> 00:38:21.844
I quit after a month.

00:38:21.844 --> 00:38:22.746
You want to know why?

00:38:22.746 --> 00:38:23.288
Tell me.

00:38:23.755 --> 00:38:25.539
Because I didn't get employee of the month.

00:38:25.539 --> 00:38:38.320
So that's the other side of the coin, that's the other camp, right, like I was convinced that everybody owed me recognition and accolades and access just for being present, and so that was.

00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:39.563
I was younger back then.

00:38:39.563 --> 00:38:52.929
Now I did that when I was 16 and I continued to operate that way until I was probably 25, 28 years old and I finally was like, oh, I don't know as much as I think I know.

00:38:52.929 --> 00:38:59.391
So me making these, what I thought were just natural demands were really way out of.

00:38:59.391 --> 00:39:04.146
I had no business asking for that, or rather, had no business expecting that.

00:39:04.146 --> 00:39:05.577
So there's two coins there, right?

00:39:05.577 --> 00:39:06.400
Or two sides.

00:39:07.382 --> 00:39:13.222
Now I undervalue my value, if you will, or I'm blind to my body of work.

00:39:13.222 --> 00:39:16.735
That's after I got highlights, before I got highlights.

00:39:16.735 --> 00:39:23.375
It's come on, man, why ain't y'all throwing me parades and giving me employee of the month every month before I even start working with you?

00:39:23.375 --> 00:39:31.942
And so when you're working with people because I know you're coaching folks right Do you find them more leaning in the?

00:39:31.942 --> 00:39:37.942
They're just blind to the value that they actually have, or do you see them leaning more in the?

00:39:37.942 --> 00:39:40.146
Where's my damn parade, jesse style?

00:39:40.554 --> 00:39:45.585
Let's say, the people I work with I think undervalue themselves a lot.

00:39:45.585 --> 00:39:46.989
I see it a lot.

00:39:46.989 --> 00:39:53.775
For me, it really shines through in interviews when we talk about, like how they talk about themselves in an interview.

00:39:53.775 --> 00:39:58.646
Tell me about yourself, especially as we relate to a career pivot, I think it's really.

00:39:58.646 --> 00:40:11.835
I remember meeting with somebody and they were like, well, I usually tell them how I don't have the experience they need me to have because I'm trying to pivot, and I was like, listen back to how that sounds.

00:40:12.065 --> 00:40:34.081
The hiring manager wants to hire somebody that has experience and you, flat out, are telling them I don't have the experience you're looking for, which, on the surface, might be true, but you need that needs to get packaged in a whole different way for that to come out correctly, and so I think that's a really important distinction.

00:40:34.081 --> 00:40:38.067
Also, you said something earlier about what you bring to the table throughout your career.

00:40:38.067 --> 00:40:53.639
If we've got any listeners that are maybe in school or you guys don't have a lot of experience, I think it's really important to focus on the fact that you still had a really important perspective, even if it's more your own experience.

00:40:53.639 --> 00:41:04.927
You're coming at things from a really different perspective and that perspective is really important, even if you don't have X number of years in the industry.

00:41:04.927 --> 00:41:19.911
I always hated that when people told me you can't say anything until you have five years or 10 years or 20 years of experience, because it was like, maybe my idea sucks, maybe my opinion sucks, but I wanted to hear it.

00:41:20.351 --> 00:41:24.168
Yeah, yeah, cause you're a human being, right, you're contribute.

00:41:24.168 --> 00:41:32.233
Yeah, doesn't mean we're going to run with your idea, but, thank you, I expect you to contribute and that's, I would say that's, a form of self-advocation.

00:41:32.233 --> 00:41:35.059
So now, so you figured out.

00:41:36.605 --> 00:41:46.769
I'm going to cut you off for a second because I wanted to answer the last question or kind of make a note that I certainly do struggle sometimes with wanting my own athlete.

00:41:46.769 --> 00:41:53.630
I think it's kind of the human tendency, especially earlier in your career, like you want to get that recognition.

00:41:53.630 --> 00:42:00.797
I think sometimes it has felt in the past, especially like my first job, where it was going to make me stand out.

00:42:00.797 --> 00:42:04.052
That's what's going to move me up to the next level, whatever that means.

00:42:04.052 --> 00:42:06.538
I think that's a really hard thing.

00:42:06.538 --> 00:42:08.469
Like you want to do a good job.

00:42:08.949 --> 00:42:25.936
I believe that most people in their job want to do a good job and I think sometimes it's hard when people around you are getting big pats on the back and you're not, because those pats on the back, I'll say, especially during my time in construction, those pats on the back can come through the form of going out to lunch.

00:42:25.936 --> 00:42:31.356
And I remember specifically I asked somebody like why do I never get taken out to lunch?

00:42:31.356 --> 00:42:33.509
It very rarely happens.

00:42:33.509 --> 00:42:36.817
And I was like why don't I get to go to lunch?

00:42:36.817 --> 00:42:54.012
And someone told me well, it looks kind of bad if your male boss, or whoever it is, takes out the female in the office to lunch and I remember sitting in my office thinking about that and saying what am I supposed to do with that information?

00:42:54.012 --> 00:42:59.512
So I'm not getting the opportunity to like rub elbows just because I'm a woman.

00:42:59.512 --> 00:43:00.594
Well, how does that?

00:43:00.655 --> 00:43:01.255
disqualify me.

00:43:01.295 --> 00:43:02.186
And what do you do with that?

00:43:02.186 --> 00:43:04.713
Because it's not something that I'm going to change.

00:43:04.974 --> 00:43:19.811
So, yeah, I got schooled by a super awesome HR professional because I wouldn't mentor women, I wouldn't invite women, like in construction, on the job site with the company, have a one-on-one lunch with the lady or breakfast.

00:43:19.811 --> 00:43:43.110
But here's why the reason I didn't do it is because for and this is garbage, right, stuff, that garbage that I carried with me from when I lived a different life, life, I will just say, from well, just my maybe mid-teen years to late 20 years.

00:43:43.110 --> 00:43:51.318
If I shared space with the lady, the assumption from everybody around us was that there was some kind of romantic exchange and I didn't want to do that to them.

00:43:51.318 --> 00:43:55.349
Right, like in my head, it's like I can't because people are going to assume we hooked up or whatever.

00:43:55.349 --> 00:44:01.139
And anyways, my HR person, she was like Jesse, why don't you mentor any ladies?

00:44:01.139 --> 00:44:04.822
You can connect and coach in a group, but you never have one-on-one stuff.

00:44:04.882 --> 00:44:09.009
I'm like, well, because I don't want anybody to think that there's something going on between us.

00:44:09.009 --> 00:44:13.153
I don't want to ruin or tarnish the reputation or whatever, and she's just, but that's not fair.

00:44:13.153 --> 00:44:15.315
I'm like how is it not fair?

00:44:15.315 --> 00:44:19.621
And she kind of helped me see, no, like you're shortchanging them, dumb, dumb.

00:44:19.621 --> 00:44:22.831
And I'm like she said when's the last time anybody accused you of that?

00:44:22.831 --> 00:44:24.936
And I was like 30 pounds ago.

00:44:25.065 --> 00:44:27.248
I guess, yeah, I'm not that much of a threat anymore.

00:44:27.248 --> 00:44:39.730
I meant 30 years, 30 years, it was a long time and so, anyways, then I kind of she's like oh, wait a minute, this is my baggage and it's not okay for me to pour or to shortchange anybody because of my old baggage.

00:44:39.730 --> 00:44:51.155
Now, I'm not saying that in defense of anybody, except that you just reminded me I had hard rules about I don't date anybody that I work with, and so one-on-one lunch was close to that.

00:44:51.155 --> 00:44:54.331
So I wasn't going to do that with a woman and that's not okay.

00:44:54.331 --> 00:45:11.503
We have a long way to go, but like being what's the word I'm going to say being put on the shelf for things that you had absolutely no control over does not feel good, and too many people do that with intent.

00:45:11.503 --> 00:45:17.726
I would say even more people do it without intent, and we just need to get better at it.

00:45:17.746 --> 00:45:28.396
Yeah, I wish it was one of those things that I could say was an isolated incident, but I've never really felt what's it like being a woman in a male dominated industry.

00:45:28.396 --> 00:45:32.228
I grew up with brothers in that environment.

00:45:32.228 --> 00:45:33.710
I've always been in that environment.

00:45:33.710 --> 00:45:41.771
But now that I'm in this space I've had a lot more time to reflect on like, where have those points hit in my career?

00:45:41.771 --> 00:46:04.135
And it was scary to look in the mirror and notice like how many points in my life a comment was made I missed out on something where it was purely because of my gender, which was always really challenging because you guys always knew what the situation was and what could I have gotten if that wasn't the case.

00:46:04.135 --> 00:46:08.213
I don't like playing one of those games but I think it's really challenging.

00:46:08.465 --> 00:46:34.471
I find it really triggering hearing about the construction labor shortage, knowing that, just like Mimi, there's a ton of great women that are just incredible powerhouses, resourcefulness, great but just like me, they've decided to take a step back from pure construction because they didn't like how they were treated or they weren't able to get like the balance with their lives that they wanted.

00:46:34.471 --> 00:46:35.985
They weren't supportive of mom, the balance with their lives that they wanted.

00:46:35.985 --> 00:46:36.409
They weren't supported as men.

00:46:36.409 --> 00:46:38.112
There's just so much there.

00:46:38.112 --> 00:46:48.137
So it is certainly one of my guiding principles, goals, to just help those women not just women, but, you know, especially women.

00:46:48.137 --> 00:46:58.509
Just know also that, like you can find a meaningful career that also is supportive of who you are as you morph and change and develop throughout your life.

00:46:58.509 --> 00:47:05.693
But there are jobs out there that do offer a little bit more flexibility so that you can be happy eventually.

00:47:06.114 --> 00:47:12.568
Yeah right, I know I took us way off in 10 different tangents, but you were talking about.

00:47:12.568 --> 00:47:13.751
You finally figured out.

00:47:13.751 --> 00:47:18.059
These are the criteria of my next career move.

00:47:18.059 --> 00:47:20.724
It's going to be these things or nothing.

00:47:20.724 --> 00:47:28.159
And so now you're in or are you carving out a different path, as like concurrent paths there?

00:47:28.324 --> 00:47:29.510
Yeah, I was really picky.

00:47:29.510 --> 00:47:37.016
I actually writing, working on some content, and realized that I only interviewed for one job.

00:47:37.016 --> 00:47:51.871
I had a lot of phone screens and I essentially was like this is for me, but I ended up only interviewing one company for two jobs but one company, and then just ended up getting one job and I think Didn't give you both of the jobs.

00:47:51.891 --> 00:47:52.231
Come on.

00:47:53.364 --> 00:48:03.588
I'm only one person and I think a lot of it just had to do with the criteria of what was important to me and not budging and not saying, oh, like we can reevaluate the salary in six months.

00:48:03.588 --> 00:48:05.351
No, I know what I want right now.

00:48:05.351 --> 00:48:13.293
And, yeah, I think, as I was working and actually being happy, I realized that I had a lot more time.

00:48:13.293 --> 00:48:26.175
I used to spend a lot of time being frustrated, coming home and like recount, like he said this and then she said that and this email came out and that phone call and then figuring out what I was going to do the next day.

00:48:26.175 --> 00:48:28.492
I didn't do any of that anymore.

00:48:28.492 --> 00:48:38.418
I was left with my own thoughts in the evenings and was like, well, can I take some of the things I've learned and help somebody else?

00:48:38.418 --> 00:48:40.070
Can I flip it around?

00:48:40.070 --> 00:48:45.036
Can anybody out there learn from one of my mistakes?

00:48:45.036 --> 00:48:48.815
And so I started on this journey of posting content.

00:48:48.815 --> 00:48:55.166
Eventually, that led me to LinkedIn, to all the amazing people out there, to you, jessie.

00:48:55.688 --> 00:49:06.469
I saw one of the commuter chats that you did with Matt Graves I think it was a while ago, one of the earlier ones and was like, wow, these people are so vulnerable.

00:49:06.469 --> 00:49:10.016
Am I uncomfortable or do I secretly love it?

00:49:10.016 --> 00:49:27.449
Because when I was really struggling, I probably didn't do a good enough job trying to find somebody that looked like me or talked like me or had similar experiences than me, sharing themselves, and so this was very.

00:49:27.449 --> 00:49:31.958
This was a little bit of a dream, but it was like, well, can I be that person for somebody else?

00:49:31.958 --> 00:49:34.047
And that's where I'm at.

00:49:34.047 --> 00:49:46.657
I am almost been a year of posting consistently on LinkedIn all kinds of very vulnerable things which, funny enough, whenever I post something vulnerable, I feel like nobody cares.

00:49:46.657 --> 00:49:49.313
People comment and get engaged, but no one's like oh God.

00:49:50.846 --> 00:49:53.414
All the things in your head don't come out in the comments.

00:49:53.474 --> 00:49:57.313
right, yeah, I'm like is everyone missing a fraud?

00:49:57.313 --> 00:50:00.594
Yeah, no, there hasn't been any like pitchforks or anything.

00:50:00.594 --> 00:50:02.130
Very grateful for that.

00:50:02.130 --> 00:50:03.447
So yeah, that's.

00:50:03.447 --> 00:50:06.255
I don't even remember what the question was, but that's my answer.

00:50:06.596 --> 00:50:09.449
Yeah, no, you answered it Like you've made your.

00:50:09.449 --> 00:50:29.956
You had one interview, thank you, interviewing for two jobs.

00:50:29.956 --> 00:50:36.963
You got the Thank you that for somebody else, that feeling or that level of awareness of all of a sudden.

00:50:36.963 --> 00:50:42.010
I've experienced it in that I was client and I got to a point like wait a minute, I think I could help other people.

00:50:42.644 --> 00:51:18.730
How that happens exactly, I don't know, but once I got there, man, my life has been ultra amazing because I'm working in service to others and and I think I want to make sure I say this and pick on Jennifer Lacey, because Jennifer and I have been having these conversations what often happens and maybe it's a question for you, stephanie we get to this point and all of a sudden we realize all the experience, the life experience that we've had, we've only been using it for ourself and that we can use it for somebody else, or we could have been helping people and we failed to do that.

00:51:18.730 --> 00:51:24.469
And then there's this kind of guilt, gray, dark, murky space that we can get stuck in.

00:51:24.469 --> 00:51:27.275
Did you experience that at all, or was it pretty?

00:51:27.275 --> 00:51:28.885
I'm going to go save the world.

00:51:29.286 --> 00:51:30.768
No, I was terrified.

00:51:30.768 --> 00:51:34.733
I've always had like entrepreneurial dream.

00:51:34.733 --> 00:51:41.610
I'll say I've always wanted to do something that was mine and I've never really.

00:51:41.610 --> 00:51:42.893
And I've done different things.

00:51:42.893 --> 00:51:54.391
I've done consulting, I've tried different things, but there was always something that was holding me back, like it didn't feel right, it wasn't the right opportunity, it didn't work with my job, like whatever the situation might have been.

00:51:55.005 --> 00:52:02.585
And I think then I realized that when today's day and age, if you want to do something, social media, just you kind of have to do it.

00:52:02.585 --> 00:52:07.155
So I had this desire of wanting to start creating content.

00:52:07.155 --> 00:52:10.251
Everyone sees the videos on TikTok or whatnot.

00:52:10.251 --> 00:52:16.092
Like you post three videos, you go viral, you make a million bucks and then you go to Bora and you drink Mai Tais on the beach.

00:52:16.092 --> 00:52:23.135
And so I thought, hey, wouldn't it be cool if I posted three videos on TikTok and I went viral, got a million bucks and we went to the beach in Bora.

00:52:23.135 --> 00:52:24.628
Can't you tell that's where I am?

00:52:24.628 --> 00:52:35.809
But I laugh about it now, but at the time I got to that realization of being like this is something that I want to do, this is something I'm interested in doing, and I was terrified.

00:52:36.251 --> 00:52:43.956
I did some coaching on one of those coaching ads, better Up with one of them, partum.

00:52:43.956 --> 00:52:45.539
I really needed that.

00:52:45.539 --> 00:52:49.501
If anyone would recommend, if you had access to that through work, 10 out of 10.

00:52:49.501 --> 00:52:52.088
And so I started talking to my coach about it.

00:52:52.088 --> 00:52:54.492
I want to do this, but I don't know.

00:52:54.492 --> 00:52:55.635
I'm scared of something.

00:52:55.635 --> 00:52:59.331
And she suggested, like why don't you just write down a list?

00:52:59.331 --> 00:53:02.608
Force yourself to write down like five things that you're afraid of?

00:53:02.608 --> 00:53:08.472
And it's one of those things that, like if someone were to ask you, you're just like, yeah, I'm just afraid of looking stupid.

00:53:08.472 --> 00:53:15.693
But if you sit down and you actually make a list, force yourself to sit down and make a list and say, okay, you're afraid of looking stupid.

00:53:15.693 --> 00:53:19.197
Cool, why, or who, who's going to make you feel stupid?

00:53:19.398 --> 00:53:28.204
And I actually wrote down a list of like I don't know seven, eight people that I was like what if they see my videos or my content?

00:53:28.204 --> 00:53:32.291
And they're like Stephanie, she's so cringe.

00:53:32.291 --> 00:53:34.896
And again, I'm laughing about this now.

00:53:34.896 --> 00:53:37.239
But in the moment, this was everything.

00:53:37.239 --> 00:53:46.333
And I realized as I'm looking through this list of the people who were essentially the reason why I wasn't starting what I thought I really wanted to do.

00:53:46.333 --> 00:53:47.777
They honestly didn't care.

00:53:47.777 --> 00:53:51.454
Like I have some of them with people that were just kind of acquaintances.

00:53:51.454 --> 00:53:56.527
But I thought they were really cool people and I was like what if they see that?

00:53:56.527 --> 00:54:00.184
And they were like, oh, stephanie's weird, and so it was a bunch of that kind of thing.

00:54:00.184 --> 00:54:13.355
And I think when I actually saw the list and had to look my fears in the eyes, I was like these people don't have that much control over me that I'm not even gonna to cry there.

00:54:13.355 --> 00:54:15.938
So I was definitely afraid.

00:54:16.565 --> 00:54:18.195
I think it's rather.

00:54:18.195 --> 00:54:25.632
I know it's natural, because every time I'm going to post a Chewy video and I haven't done one in a while I get anxious about it.

00:54:25.632 --> 00:54:32.692
Like when I wrote the book, I was fine with it, until my mom said, mijo, people are going to read this.

00:54:32.692 --> 00:54:35.768
I'm like, well, yeah, and she's like, but you put everything in there.

00:54:35.768 --> 00:54:38.454
I'm like, yeah, I guess that's the point.

00:54:38.454 --> 00:54:40.487
She's like, yeah, but you have a business.

00:54:40.487 --> 00:54:42.371
What if people don't want to work with you?

00:54:42.371 --> 00:54:44.605
I was like, oh shit, I didn't think about that.

00:54:44.605 --> 00:54:46.106
And guess what?

00:54:46.106 --> 00:54:50.371
Nobody has said we're not working with you anymore.

00:54:50.371 --> 00:54:58.346
Actually, what people say is man, part of the reason we pick you is because of the real stuff that you've been through.

00:54:58.907 --> 00:55:07.119
And I'm like oh okay, but my point is hell, yes, it's scary, but it's all in our head.

00:55:07.119 --> 00:55:10.994
Because you've done it now and I've seen you've increased the frequency.

00:55:10.994 --> 00:55:14.469
Yes, your vulnerability, you've become more and more vulnerable.

00:55:14.469 --> 00:55:15.193
I see it.

00:55:15.193 --> 00:55:15.954
I'm like, oh, this is.

00:55:15.954 --> 00:55:18.190
I love that when I see people getting vulnerable.

00:55:18.190 --> 00:55:26.137
This is good stuff, because you could easily be using chat gpt to produce garbage, because a lot of people are doing that and you're not.

00:55:26.137 --> 00:55:32.518
You're sharing your story, your experience, and again people are gonna say man, jesse's gushing over her.

00:55:32.518 --> 00:55:44.389
What I ultimately love is you're using all your life experience the pains, the frustrations, the courageous, scary, terrifying, brave things that you've done to help other people.

00:55:44.389 --> 00:55:50.929
And so now you have a free PDF download, a checklist, one-on-one coaching calls.

00:55:50.929 --> 00:55:52.052
You're building a group.

00:55:52.052 --> 00:55:54.505
You've got all kinds of stuff cooking up, sister.

00:55:54.505 --> 00:56:00.358
How do people get in contact or access to all the goodness you're offering right now?

00:56:00.378 --> 00:56:04.356
Sure, so right now you can always slide into my latest DM.

00:56:04.356 --> 00:56:06.552
I do my best to respond to those.

00:56:06.552 --> 00:56:08.914
I just love seeing that slide into my DM.

00:56:08.914 --> 00:56:12.711
It sounds so fabulous so you can always message me on there.

00:56:12.711 --> 00:56:20.492
But the different things I have going on right now are that my career pivot guide that I love it will forever be my baby.

00:56:21.005 --> 00:56:30.519
Four steps on, like how to pivot your career, from figuring out whether it's actually time to pivot all the way to working on that like pivot story that we talked about.

00:56:30.519 --> 00:56:34.771
So you're not like I don't have the experience, so that whole process.

00:56:34.771 --> 00:56:40.257
And then I actually just released a LinkedIn messaging playbook.

00:56:40.257 --> 00:56:42.954
I'm fancy, but it's got like a whole bunch of templates in it.

00:56:42.954 --> 00:56:52.356
So if you're like I really want to connect with people but I'm really nervous about what to say, it's got a whole bunch of templates and then a whole bunch of follow-up questions so you can dig deeper.

00:56:52.356 --> 00:57:01.643
So you're not like I sent the intro message Now questions, so you can dig deeper.

00:57:01.643 --> 00:57:02.190
So you're not like I sent the intro message.

00:57:02.139 --> 00:57:02.657
Now what do I do?

00:57:02.657 --> 00:57:02.804
I get a lot of terrible dm's.

00:57:02.804 --> 00:57:02.844
So which?

00:57:02.844 --> 00:57:02.983
Please still dm me.

00:57:02.983 --> 00:57:03.978
Don't be a mind that I'm gonna blast your dm.

00:57:03.978 --> 00:57:05.166
But no, I think this has really been my answer to.

00:57:05.166 --> 00:57:12.327
I think it's really important to like really leverage LinkedIn as part of the job search process, and so I'm like I can't just say that all day.

00:57:12.327 --> 00:57:16.777
I just provide some resources on how to do that and yeah, that's that.

00:57:16.777 --> 00:57:25.840
And then working on a LinkedIn kind of community on how to leverage LinkedIn for either if you're posting or for job searching.

00:57:25.840 --> 00:57:28.835
So that'll hopefully go live in the fall.

00:57:28.835 --> 00:57:33.496
But, yeah, check out my page, hit me with a follow and tell me what you thought about this.

00:57:34.106 --> 00:57:34.766
Oh, I love it.

00:57:34.766 --> 00:57:39.858
We'll make sure to put your thing, your LinkedIn thing, in the show notes so people can connect with you.

00:57:39.858 --> 00:57:46.277
And I got to be on your webinar and I got to connect with some super cool like.

00:57:46.277 --> 00:57:49.838
It was just a cool vibe and it was clear what?

00:57:49.838 --> 00:57:50.380
Again?

00:57:50.380 --> 00:57:51.224
Because you're awesome.

00:57:51.224 --> 00:58:04.916
The people that were there were just really cool people, looking to connect, looking to make a change, looking to learn something new, and it's that energy that motivates and inspires me.

00:58:04.916 --> 00:58:15.317
So I can only guess how awesome the communities that you're building going forward are going to be, because I got like a taste test of the first iteration and it was great.

00:58:16.605 --> 00:58:26.713
Be because I got like a taste test of the first iteration and it was great, and it was because I say this, the caliber of people that were there in terms of human beings right, I'm not talking about careers and titles and credentials, I'm just talking about human beings.

00:58:26.713 --> 00:58:49.284
It was clear to me that you attract awesome people and so folks if you don't know that Stephanie's awesome and, by the way, steph, I don't know if you like achieved your goal to have the same reaction that your brother did when everybody heard he was an engineer and they said oh, he's so smart, but you're pretty damn awesome.

00:58:49.284 --> 00:58:58.809
I think you're really freaking smart and the things that you've overcome and accomplished and are now contributing forward are freaking amazing.

00:58:58.809 --> 00:59:08.277
Like you're an amazing human being and I'm grateful that you would even give me time to like, bug you and talk to you and interrupt you when you're sharing all your genius I love it.

00:59:08.445 --> 00:59:10.088
No, I'm gonna stop you right there.

00:59:10.088 --> 00:59:11.010
I'm gonna stop.

00:59:11.010 --> 00:59:12.233
Stop you right there.

00:59:12.233 --> 00:59:13.815
I appreciate that.

00:59:14.076 --> 00:59:32.269
But also, like you've been a huge supporter of me and my content and, yes, it's very easy to look at my page and say I post a lot and things look good, it's still really hard, like I still have days where I'm like I don't want to post or what am I even doing here, bring this whole thing to the ground.

00:59:32.911 --> 00:59:45.711
But it's really people like you, jesse, who are down to give feedback and just positive encouragement and just your vulnerability that makes it feel okay for me to be vulnerable or for others to feel vulnerable.

00:59:45.711 --> 00:59:53.576
So it's really awesome to be part of this kind of like ecosystem and I appreciate your support through all of it.

00:59:53.576 --> 00:59:55.326
I appreciate your time, jhene.

00:59:55.326 --> 00:59:59.630
Like I said at the beginning, I feel like I haven't stopped smiling throughout this whole thing.

00:59:59.630 --> 01:00:02.393
I feel like my energy has been written for this.

01:00:02.393 --> 01:00:22.494
So I really appreciate that and, more than anything we do go through like tougher patches of careers or projects that we work on, it's so important to just have that community of people who have done it before or who have done similar aspects to it, so you can be in that community of being validated by your own feelings.

01:00:23.175 --> 01:00:25.271
You're welcome and thank you, stephanie.

01:00:25.271 --> 01:00:28.672
Now are you ready for the big question.

01:00:29.173 --> 01:00:29.856
I'm so nervous.

01:00:30.304 --> 01:00:31.586
So, Miss Stephanie, we know how amazing you are.

01:00:31.586 --> 01:00:34.751
So, miss Stephanie, we know how amazing you are.

01:00:34.751 --> 01:00:42.440
Nobody can really predict the future, except that I believe you're going to have immense impact and contribute to many, many lives.

01:00:47.704 --> 01:00:49.367
And with that in mind, what is the promise that you are intended to be?

01:00:49.367 --> 01:00:50.708
It is a big question.

01:00:50.708 --> 01:01:00.387
I think, no matter what I do, I've never been one to set this is my five-year plan or my 10-year plan, I think, for me.

01:01:00.387 --> 01:01:07.193
I've always really been guided by this sounds selfish, but by being happy and making the people around me happy.

01:01:07.193 --> 01:01:28.557
I think that as I've gotten older and I've become a mom, I realized, like, how important it is you really only have one life and I know that's super cliche to say but you, the people around you, they're, you are their everything, and so it's so important to make sure that you give to them, but also that you give to yourself.

01:01:28.557 --> 01:01:34.666
And so I don't know if that's fully answering your question, but maybe that's just where I'm at today.

01:01:34.826 --> 01:01:40.938
I think that is a fabulous question, particularly because you got to take care of yourself.

01:01:40.938 --> 01:01:43.172
You got to give and give.

01:01:43.172 --> 01:01:47.855
That's what we're here for, but you can't give unless you're taking care of yourself.

01:01:47.855 --> 01:01:49.692
So I completely love that.

01:01:50.235 --> 01:01:50.876
Did you have fun?

01:01:50.876 --> 01:01:51.681
I had a blast.

01:01:51.681 --> 01:01:55.931
I'm like you know another three hours, but no one's going to listen to a 17 hour podcast.