Cementing Relationships in Construction with Lance Furuyama

at one point and it's because I know like how much it takes to write a fucking good post, like it's a lot of work, right, and a lot of times you're not seeing the engagement or whatever it is that you're looking for, whether somebody calls you or likes it or comments. And gig kills me when I see people out there just putting out like fire stuff and it's just being seen.

Yes, that is him, the man, the myth, the legend, mr Lance Furiyama, coming back on part two of the conversation and shout out to Chris Guttkus and Mr Adam Foods, because I am deeply grateful for y'all supporting the idea, or actually recommending, that these conversations get split into two parts. Y'all aren't the only ones that really love that, and so we're picking it up. If you haven't heard the first half, finish this one and then go back and listen to part one with Lance. But we're picking it back up. We're talking about how you let people into your inner circle. We also talk about later on in the conversation about like exiting people from our circle, which you might find some healthy tactics to manage that. And also I'll just say it right now Don't practice mine. I share mine in there a little bit and it's not the nicest way to function. And before you get into the second half of this conversation, I'm going to give the LNM family member shout out. This one goes out to Mr James Blutone. James says I sure appreciate you sharing with as much as you do for others in our construction community. I can only admire your commitment and determination. My post this evening is actually inspired by so many of the things you talk about often. James, thank you so much for that man. It really is a meaningful and moving experience for me when people share these kinds of thoughts and so, yeah, part of it is me. Making you know gives me all the warm and fuzzies about the effort that I'm putting out into the world. But, more importantly, it's like taking a just a blind leap off the edge because I don't know if it's going to resonate with people or if it's going to bring any value to people. Your response, your comment, helps me know that I am contributing into the world and, more importantly, folks. The reason I want to share these highlights and these shout outs is because I know you have a message, I know you have a thought within you, I know you have gifts and talents to share with the world and I want this to be evidence for you that there are people in the world waiting for your insight and your experience and your voice. So, you know, step on up, take a leap and gift the community, the people, with your knowledge and your experience, because we need it. And here we go to Mr Land's FURIAMA what are your criteria or filter for the people that you take advice from or invest time into?

Ooh, that's a good one. It's somebody that I would speak their name in the room if they weren't there, because to me that means that you passed every test that I have. I'm putting my name, I'm signing off on you, and if I have any hesitation in doing that, then you're probably not going to work out. That's the big thing for me. And as far as who I'm helping, it's people that I see that are in the same position that I was in. Always look at it as stay close to people that are a couple of steps ahead of you and, same thing, a couple of steps behind you. Because, like I'm going to be open with it, you're one of the people that's a couple of steps ahead and you've invested time. You've invested time and energy into working with me, and do the same thing with the people that I'm trying to pull up. If I have a date, I'm like you know, I suck this, this sucks. I mean, it hasn't been that way. But if there were a day and now I'm thinking like not only am I accountable to myself, but I'm accountable to the people that invested in me and the people that are using me to help clear the path for themselves, it's a little easier to stay on track when it's not just yourself and those self-doubt voices. Ooh, self-doubt.

So a couple of things. One think it's an optical illusion that you think I'm a couple of steps ahead of you, because I'm like, no, no, no, no, you like I'm learning tons from you bro.

No, we learn a lot from each other because we have different strengths. Like you, are an idea chaser, you are not afraid to work across different mediums and verticals and, by nature, very like analytical, I stick to what I know and what I've mastered. So by watching you and talking to you it makes me less afraid to pursue new ideas, like the video thing, which, by trade that makes no sense.

Yep.

That makes absolutely no sense, but I'm quick at learning, interested and I enjoy it. So that's how I ramped up so quick and also with for me, the big fear of chasing your things was time, like I only have so much time, so you want I asked you about it you took an hour and a half to go over your, like, your Trello board, your white board and all of that stuff with me and I've been using it still. And one of the windows it's right down here.

That's awesome.

So that's something like you helped me and then we've helped you with, but just different ideas, and that's the thing right, you're ahead of me in certain aspects of the race. I'm ahead in certain aspects, but we're pulling each other.

Yeah, bro, like, okay, I will agree 100% because it's like a relay race, right, like passing the baton at this point and, at that point, supporting each other. It really is. It really is when people ask me, I've been asked how, where do you get your energy from? And it's like I've designed my life to spend most of my time doing things that are fulfilling. And then what does that mean? Serving others, sharing my what, the natural gifts and talents I have, and we all have them, and one of my natural gifts is to be blind and deaf, to risk, because I just do stuff, but it helps people. I've heard multiple times people are like man, like how do you do that? Like why just do it? And I think of it as an experiment. And you do so many things, how do you manage it? Oh, I have a cycle. Let me show you Mural calendar Trello, like it's a. It looks like a serial killers plan, right, or there's ship does actually. You're not the first one to tell me that, but it's doing that now. But, like, one of the key things in that little idea is it's the people man, like when I share my gifts and talents, the people that I get to connect with are amazing people like you, like the rest of the crew. You know there's a big list of people that are like super amazing, that are like really doing putting themselves out there right, exposing themselves to the haters and the trolls and frustration from family, doing this extra LinkedIn, social media pot, like whatever it is all of those things there's. There's this element of courage that they have One, to overcome the friction, to put yourself out there, because that's not easy. And then three, to trust a freak right. We're all creaky. So it's like that's the combination. All of those things are what give me more energy to keep doing crazy stuff and exploring and testing and all the damn, whatever the hell it is I'm doing right now. Sometimes I forget because I got a lot of fear. Now you mentioned the self doubt and this type of thing. How much of that do you deal with?

Surprisingly, it changes, right, it evolves with you. So that's kind of fucked up. But in the beginning it's you don't know what the hell you're doing, right? This isn't a real thing. You're just making things up. You're making a thing that suits you, and then people start paying for it and enjoying it and liking the outcomes, and then you start to get this other voice that's like well, you know, like you're a fraud, Like you just made this thing up because you're. You know, you're not a videographer, you're not a professional interviewer, you don't do any of that stuff. And as a success happens, it's. It starts to take a different voice and starts to try a different approach. And I'm going to better at silencing. For the most part, okay, it doesn't contribute. So giving it any energy doesn't help.

Yeah, no, I like that. I heard it said worrying about a negative outcome is like praying for what you don't want. Oh, what do you think about that one?

That's it. That's deep. Well, you know what it is too. I feel like a lot of times when I'm hearing those voices. It's something that somebody else said that's just sitting in a dark corner of your mind until you're alone, like usually at night. For me is when it happens You're alone and alone with you, think what are your thoughts? But it's somebody else's shit that they put on your shoulders. Yes, right, they're like oh, are you sure you can do that? And then you start to go oh shit, am I sure? I don't know.

Yeah, so you said alone, but you've got a family.

Yeah, I do, but I'm just up weird hours. I still get seven hours of sleep somehow. It's just very like choppy.

Oh, I see, yeah, Because I see you posting at five o'clock my time, which is like three o'clock your time. Sometimes I'm like damn it, Blanche. I hope you're taking care of yourself.

And yeah, it adds up to sevens. It'd be four, three, one or something weird situation, but it's seven hours a day. I'll tell you that that's awesome.

Yeah, no, that's absolutely necessary. For me, those negative thoughts, they come from the judgments I make of other people. Yeah, that makes sense. Does that make right, like when I'm worried about being one of those sellouts? Right, because for me I will refer to people that way. And then I get all caught up and wound up like man, I'm done and it's like, well, who's ever called me a sellout? Nobody. Well, not for a while, since anybody's called me that, and it's like, oh, it's because the judgments I project on other people is what's getting me spun up and caught up on making a decision or doing something. And then, like, you said, somebody said something, you picked it up. It's a thing, it's a thought. I don't have to let it conquer the moment.

I don't have to water it. Yeah, I can't die right where it is.

So how do you go about not letting it conquer the moment?

That's a good question. I just get back to work and start creating. I've honestly just stopped caring what other people say. On one of the live streams actually, jonathan Kaur was the one that said he removes his personal value from the outcomes of whatever he's working on, because I think a lot of damaged ego really waters those voices. that are in your head. So if your ego is in check and you're just like I might try to close a sale with somebody and they say, please just not for me Instead of me going see, I told you it's not worth anything Like I'll go start working on the projects of the people that did pay me and continue moving on. I think the ego, the damage ego, is the most dangerous enemy that we have for ourselves.

Oh, dude, yeah, because then you like retaliate out of being like hurt. You're hurt, you can't ask, you couldn't afford it. So on that line of thinking again, I think how to feeling when this is good for other content creators out there? I think these are some really like realities that everybody deals with. How much do you lose when you get a no Lance? How much what?

do I lose Exactly? Oh question, no, nothing much. I was single for a long time, so no, they just bounce off for a week. It honestly doesn't hit land as hard as it should. Yeah, a lot of times. If you're reading between the lines, it shouldn't be a surprise when you get a no yeah, like if they had asked for price, and all of a sudden the communication slows down to a halt they really shouldn't be that surprising when they say no after they ghosted you for three weeks.

Yeah, yeah, totally, I think so. If I think of it and I was listening to oh my God, I think it was Alex Hermosi. Have you consumed any of his content?

Not much, I've. His name is color, probably five times a week. I'm just don't live with it, but he roll, keep rolling yeah.

For me it's like he simplifies some things that are can be very complex and I'm like, yep, that lands with me. Style and all that. It's a different thing. But there was two things that I took out of the thing I was listening to day. One was that like is a no cost you nothing, and actually no is all upside. I mean, I got a rep in of marketing my product. I'd learned what kind of objections or things to look for in the future to filter. Right back to the filter that you mentioned earlier, and now I can move on to the next one, so it didn't cost me anything. I like I'm still as broke as I was when I started talking to you. Nothing changed, nothing changed. I got a little bit more experience and let's move on.

Okay, if I move on to that, though, jesse, that's an important thing. What's that? I think that's a really important thing that you just touched on, because I never really asked people about what were your impressions of me. Or, again, one of the downsides of not caring rights, right, you know, when John, like they posted this warning, is basically saying hidden luck, and then how can I serve you or whatever? I want to put you on my page, and it's almost like a sneaking suspicion of all. Right, but what's next? Yep, and the what's next with me never comes, but it's. It says a lot to the document and the mindset that we're all looking at as the person on the other end. Right, it's too fucking weird. This guy's not asking me for anything, he's not trying to sell me anything Like what's fucking weird, though. What's your? What are you after? What are you trying to do? I never thought of it, right, I just I read it and I was kind of like, oh damn, I never didn't occur to me.

But that's because you weren't going in to make the sale, you were looking to connect. If you go back and read the thing, maybe there's probably a way I could put it up here somehow. And then this was the post. This is what I was thinking. This is the post. This is what I was thinking. Yeah, I was like, totally, I want to connect with you right now. It's different. Now you didn't say that hey, jonathan, let's connect. Come on, bro, let's connect Right, cause that elicits a no or a yes or no. Instead, I want to help you. What is it that you do? Because I think I understand it and I think somebody else needs that service. What is that? So I can connect you. And so it was all about connection and connectivity, which is, like, largely absent in our industry, and I think that's an important maybe a side note, but I think that's one thing that I'm feeling, or maybe witnessing, discovering, seeing it develop is the type of connectivity that we all have right now. Specifically, the group that's the construction creator group that is on LinkedIn is the type of connectivity that we need throughout the industry. But back to the point, you didn't say, hey, jonathan, let's connect.

Yeah.

Let's network, let's network. Do you want to network? No, you, you were networking, so maybe that's the secret sauce, right as to why that's not a no. I remember you reached out to me and you're like hey, I've got a newsletter. Do you have any links that you want? I'm like, oh, hell, yeah, like, yeah, bro, like amazing, what can I do for you? It wasn't a yes or no, like a yes or no question, even though there was a decision to be made. I didn't realize that yeah, no, I hadn't thought about it until now, and so I guess that's just like a natural skill that you've done Doesn't sound like you developed it on purpose, or did you?

Well, I was like I was playing when it was a mastermind move, but it was just oh dude, you totally got to leverage it.

You gotta see. Yeah, you want to get the inside of that. You got to sign up for X and drop. I'll drop the link in the top and thumbs up in the chat and I'll send you a deal. You didn't have a show notes. Yeah, we'll put that in the show notes. I think that's one of the things that's super amazing. Man is a lot of what I get to witness, and the way you interact and the way you post and the way you treat people to me seems very as is going to sound ugly, but it seems calculated and well thought out. But when I talk to you you're just being lens.

Yeah, a lot of it too. Like I started shouting people out at one point and it's because I know, like how much it takes to write a fucking good post. Like it's a lot of work.

Right.

And a lot of times you're not seeing the engagement or whatever it is that you're looking for, whether it's somebody calls you or likes it or comments. And it kills me when I see people out there just putting out like fire stuff and it's just not being seen. Or people see it. I'm trying to read that, lex, I'm trying to learn. It entertained me. For me. That's not because I hate writing, so to see somebody do it and I get the response that they're looking for, it just hits something for me. Yeah, I think that's where that comes from. Right, it's like I can put myself in your shoes. Try to figure out how much effort went into it, and if you're not seeing the results, I feel like somebody needs to say something.

Man, there you go again, just serving others. Right, you're using your gifts and talents and service to others.

So it's also selfish. I don't want them to stop writing because it's helping me learn. It's not completely selfless. There is some selfishness.

Yeah, yeah, I feel you man. To me that translates into reciprocal propulsion. You're contributing, you like that. I like that. According to me, helping me grow, helping me get my momentum, that's propelling me forward. So I'm going to reciprocate, and then it's just a flywheel and keep spinning and spinning, but that flywheel does not work with the wrong people, and so how do you go about managing, maybe, a bad selection? When you make a bad selection of letting people that are not in alignment with your mission, how do you go about exiting them out of your space or your inner circle?

Well, if they made it that far, they're pretty much good to go. To get on board is pretty lengthy. It doesn't seem that way, I'm sure, like the outside looking in, but there are more levels to it, right, and everything goes back to depth. I have a lot of surface level connections, but there are people, with each talk or each when it gets real, we really start talking about what we're trying to do, things we're going through in our life, that you're working your way closer and closer. So you're not just getting a free pass to the inner circle, but it's over time and over shared experiences. So if you made it that far and you fuck up, I look at that as a one off. Maybe that was a lot of character, a little weird. I don't just throw the baby out with the bathwater for that. So, as I care about you, I play like hey man, that was a weird fucked up thing that you just let's go like we need to, yeah, and that's the thing. Right, it's a dressing thing and asking, because if you go home and let it fester, I can't have fucked that guy. He was such an asshole, yep. You forget about the 99% of the time that you really helped each other in or enjoy your time together.

Yeah, man, when they say conflict avoided is conflict multiplied. Oof, that's a good one. Never heard that. I stole that one. None of these are my original. No, I've said anything original yet. Yeah, that, like the resentment just festers and bubbles and grows, and it's bad. It's now. You're far more compassionate than I am, because I do put people on the dead to me list and it could be people that were all the way up in that inner circle. I've gotten better about like, not slamming the door shut forever.

And there were a lot of it as compassion though. So you're seeing that people all the way in Yep. They got themselves all the way out. Yes, like it had to be like a violation, though. That's like really fucked up, right. No, you can't just be.

After me, really. Yeah, it's as simple. Then I'll say the most frequent violation, I'll put it that way the most frequent violation is when their say do ratio gets way out of whack. They stopped following through doing the things they said they were going to do. When that happened, I just sever connection, which is probably not probably. I know that's connected to like childhood trauma. There's more of a defense mechanism than anything. Now, when I say historically, I'll say before the past, we'll say five years, once you were out, you were out out Like there was no way you're coming back in Now. It's more of like okay, like I'm gonna watch and I'm gonna study and be very apprehensive about it. But I do cut people off. And when I say cut people off, I mean from like the feeling right, I don't have that care anymore. I just turned it off, which is kind of weird. But anyhow, we're supposed to be talking about you, lance, come on bro.

I know Well the reason I ask. That is so this like you got your serial killer board right here yeah, it's your white board and Trello and I have this weird thought that I have the hardest time shaking. I don't even know if I want to say it, but I'm gonna keep going. Always think, no matter how deep your relationship is with somebody or how good it is, Like you could fuck that up in five seconds if you wanted to Like. I'm not saying that this is something that would happen, but just if you know somebody for 30 years inner circle as deep as it gets and you kiss the dude's life, Yep, that's shitting. There's no coming back. It's like a decision that can be made in a second to break down everything that was built. I just it's such a weird thing because when I'm driving, I drive full on this weird road one lane each, and it's really curvy. I'm like man if somebody fucks up, I'm dead, and it's a decision that they made. That set for lack of decision making and everything's so fragile, I guess, is what I'm getting at. So for you to say that it's not, yeah, shocking.

Things are fragile and for me maybe this is the truth I am ultra fragile, so that's why I have the click dead to me. You're on the list. Peace out done with you. Next, I've gotten better at it, but again, like your cut, the compassion you have gives me something to aspire to. So another thought we're talking about how you're supporting the folks that you see posting fire like really great stuff and they're not getting the interaction you feel it deserves. So, along that line of thinking, how? What are your thoughts on likes and comments and views on the content that you post?

I guess it just depends on what you're trying to accomplish. If you're trying to share ideas and it gets likes, that's good, and if it gets engaged, I think they're all tied to each other. If you're getting likes and comments, then you're getting more viewers and greater reach. So I think that's the only value of it all. I do think like all of the magic is in the comments on LinkedIn, and that's why I purposely don't do like thought dumps on there too much. I try not to, because all I'm trying to do is get. I want to leave enough room for people to have a voice at the table, and if I say everything and like it's three squirrels long, you're all the way down. And well, fuck, he said everything already. What the hell do I have to say? So I try to keep it short and leave it there. There's room for a conversation, because that's true engagement. Otherwise I'm just talking at you.

Correct 100%. So what pointers would you give one of the lurkers, people that have been out there like on social media and they watch and read and but they don't really comment and they don't post, but they want to. They're post curious, right. They want to, but they don't because of all the human things that happen. Right, they're all caught in their head. They don't know. What kind of thinking would you recommend to help them, like, get over the hump and start commenting or start posting?

Do you think there's a couple of things people are worried because of what their employer might think, so that's something that you should be aware of, but if that's not an issue for you. I would just comment, comment on other people's stuff. I joke that I like commenting because I don't have to think that much. Like you already got the conversation started. I just have to bring I'm bringing chips to the party, like it's not a huge deal, but sometimes you want chips. Like you barbecued all day, you did everything and I just came. But like, first of all, it shows appreciation for all the person put in and second, it's the cool thing is you can respectfully disagree on this platform. Yes, and that's kind of a major thing, right, as long as you're not coming in sideways, have whatever you believe saying if it so moves you, but also don't back off at the first sign of resistance. You can still respectfully disagree, I mean yeah, yeah, 100%.

All right, brother. So we're going to slide in home. And here's the closing question Are you ready? It's a big one. I'm ready and you do a lot of amazing things. I imagine this might be a tough question, but what is the promise you are intended to be?

To continue serving. I mean serving my family, serving the people that I care about. I'm not here to serve everybody, but it's the people that are on the path with me. This is as important as it is, because I thought that my own financial success would be like hi, maybe look at me, but it really I get the most doing that. But also helping other people become free of whatever they're trying to get away from. Well, you know that's not an accuracy but it's free to go get where they want to get to. You should have been running for some. You should be running to something.

Oh, gold, yes, Awesome.

Any shout out, the running thing is fear motivated right? Yes, sir.

Yes, sir, any shout outs you want to give Everybody man too many.

I can't believe if you pull out trying to get me canceled, like you on LinkedIn, I feel you man.

I'm like, oh, that's a long list. Well, I'm just going to have to get those project managers after you.

And then now the who was the other one that you're trying to get the public, public speakers, Public speakers. I think I can square up with muscle, but they'll start going after other people.

You know, I've only known Lance for a short period of time and when I say short, I mean like less than a year and the very first time I connected with that man I was like, wow, this guy really wants to serve. And if that didn't come through, like through this second half of the interview, of how committed he is to serving other people and I've met him in person and saying thing I see all the content he posts and it's always about serving others. So check him out, follow him on the LinkedIn, follow his business page, the trade partner HQ. He's doing a whole lot of great things out there to help other people elevate and spread their wings. He's also been helping me get the word out on some of the products that I've been producing, and the latest concoction, the latest experiment, actually is the sponsor of this episode and that is the Field Leaders Planning Toolbox. It is in development. So over the next six weeks, what are we in January? Right now, january 2024, there's an early adopter rate. So if you sign up right now, you'll get the early adopter rate, which is like super discounted, because all the other modules aren't in there yet, and I will be adding a module every couple of weeks here going forward and as I add modules, the rate is going to go up, but if you take advantage of the early adopter rate right now, you'll get in like at the bottom at the cheapest rate available. If you're wondering who is going to get the most value out of the Field Leaders Planning Toolbox, it is going to be trade foreman, trade superintendents, people that are out there busy doing the work. Maybe you're not a trade foreman, but you know somebody who is. Maybe you're a project manager or a superintendent for a GC and you got a whole bunch of trades out on your project that may benefit from some tools, but you don't have the time to like teach the thing because you got to go build the damn building. That's the whole point of the Field Leaders Planning Toolbox, so check it out. The link's going to be down there. Be cool, and we'll talk to you next time.

Peace.