Just be yourself??? What does that even mean

What is going on? LnM Family, Jesse here coming at you with my very first solo cast. So if you've been here before, welcome back. And if you're new, this is the learnings and missteps podcast. What we typically interview amazing people that have built careers in the construction industry. For the purpose of enhancing the image of careers in the trades. And so we're testing now running a couple of experiments. And, and this solo cast is the first of many to come. And yeah. So what I want to talk about. Is the phrase, just be yourself. I'm not sure if anyone's ever told you that, but I've heard it. I've even told people that in my patch, I like people that are caught up stuck, frustrated. With where they're at in life. And the best thing I could tell them is we'll just be yourself. now. I know when I've heard that, it's like, what in the world does that even mean? Um, so I've been thinking a lot about that. Especially. Cause I was like, okay, I'm going to do a solo cast or I want to infused solo casts into, the menu of what we've been providing through this podcast. Uh, and, and. For a hot minute, those dots came in, like, what should it be? What are people going to say? What are people going to think? So on and so forth. And that brought me to the idea of, well, just be yourself. Well, like again, what does that mean? and so to start. The thought that helped me get some traction around how can we help each other? Understand what we mean by just be yourself. And for me. It's really a matter of me not making decisions. Based on what I think. Other people might think it's like the operative words there are think, and might write.'cause, I don't really know what anybody else is gonna think. I can't know what people are going to think. I can make some assumptions about what they possibly may think about whatever it is I'm doing. Um, or what it is they think about me. But I don't know. so the likelihood that they're going to think the absolute worst thing possible, the worst situation that I'm concocting in my head is very, very low. Uh, and the only way to know is to do the damn thing, right. Now the problem with getting caught up in what other people might think is it's like all consuming. Because there are so many variations of what anybody can think. and for me, Uh, I'm going to assume that some of y'all out there are like me or have been in this situation where you start down that road of. Well, what if so-and-so is going to say this and what if this and what if that, and, and then the road just gets more slippery. Uh, as we start considering all of the things that could possibly be from a negative perspective. and then when I actually do the thing, right, so now I've said, okay, what's everybody think, what are they going to say? What should I wear? How did. And then I contort my behavior. To attempt to avoid all of those. Um, negative consequences of the action. And then I get feedback because we're always going to get feedback. Sometimes the feedback is in the form of like the side-eye, right? Like what. They kind of squinch their eyebrows. You're like, oh man, they're judging me right now. and inside me, when I see that it hurts. I don't know why they're squinching or eyebrow, but. Because I contorted my behavior and my thinking and my direction and my message and everything else. I am now like super hypersensitive. Why? Because I did all of those acrobatics to gain approval and any signal other than approval Hertz. Uh, and creates a void, right? It starts chipping away at my self-esteem starts chipping away at my confidence, and leaves me in a state of feeling like I'm just never good enough. Now importantly, let's stay on track because I don't want you to go into them. Dark places. The fact is all of that began with me. It all started by me. Uh, attempting to fit some. Mold. That I'm assuming. That I created in my own mind. And so what does that mean? Well, it means that I can actually create any mold that I want. Right. So yes, things can be negative. Things can be horrible. We can be embarrassing. And what else could also be true? It could be awesome. It could be impactful. It could be meaning it could be inspirational. So, all I have to do is learn how to do that. Now that's a little tougher. Like that one, I don't have the secret recipe for. What I do know is that I've gotten better about it through repetition. Getting the reps in doing it funky. I had a conversation with my buddy, Sean Moran, shout out Sharelle was so baby boomer. And we were talking about this, you know, the amount of energy and effort we put into polishing things up so that they can be perfect. And everybody's going to be blown away. Gets you stuck. And then when you do the thing. At the end of the delivery. The really most important thing is, you know, how you performed. I have never been there have been very, very few times that I've done a thing. And was completely content. With my delivery of it the first time. every time I do something, I find something that I can Polish something that I want to make better because. Because I know I can do it better. But the only way to find that out is by doing the damn thing again. So, how do I create the model? The form that I want to take, that's going to bring me. The greatest amount of joy and free me from all of that misery, all of that. Head garbage that's that quickly consumes us. So for me, it's two questions. How do I want to serve? Right. Like what. What is the emotion? What is the impact? Uh, what is the value that I want to deliver to the person or people? What do I want that to look like? And because I have this wild imagination that can paint dark, scary pictures. I can also paint. Awesome, colorful, exciting pictures. And okay. That's what I want things to look like. I want people to be engaged. I want people to laugh. Uh, want them to, to experience some sentiment and I want to be a catalyst for change. Awesome. Okay. That's part one. Part two, what brings me fulfillment? Well, when people demonstrate that I've had the impact that I wanted to have. And so if that's the model. Then all I have to do is put my energy towards that and then really give myself some grace. Because I know that even after I do it. And some of y'all like, if you don't know me, I like to capture video of me doing the stuff that I do because I review it and it helps me get better. I can find things that I want to improve on. And what that does is it takes. All my insecurities, like those little hot buttons that my, my precious, delicate little heart is, is covered in. It takes them away from everybody else. And the only one that can push those buttons is me. And when I pushed those buttons, I can use that as fuel and energy to make the thing. The way I want it to be. And whatever that is. Is it my shoes? Is it my suit? Is it my haircut? Is it the speech? Is it the PowerPoint? Is it the meeting agenda? Like. When I'm making my decisions based on what I'm guessing, other people might think. And so next time you hear somebody tell you, just be yourself. Maybe these questions will help you. How do you want to serve? And what brings you fulfillment? Uh, so let that little kind of flippant. Just be, you just be your best self. Be a trigger like, oh, how do I want to serve what brings me the most fulfillment? because I have experienced. MI like the best version of me. Has come from me finally, understanding. How I best serve. And then putting my energy towards that. Now. like one last. Stinky truth is even though I know how I best serve, and that's how I make my decisions and frame, whatever it is I want to do going up going forward. That doesn't mean everybody's going to like it. Like this Jessie flavor ain't for everybody. And that is okay. And I had to learn how to get okay. With people not choosing me. And guess what? That's okay. So rather than like trying to get everybody to pick me. I know it's like Baskin Robbins out there. There's a bunch of people to pick from. You don't have to pick me. You can pick somebody else. And we could still be friends. We could still be humans. We could still make impact on other people's lives. So I'm wondering how do you best serve? What brings you the most fulfillment? Like how much time have you spent thinking about that? the energy that you put into discovering the answers to those questions. We'll bring you greater reward. And helps you shift. The current dark place or you may have been putting all that beautiful energy of yours. And so another confession, another thing that, that I'm putting out there into the world, that, that I am a little concerned about, but. Because I already have proof that it is causing impact. That is being a catalyst for change in people's lives. I said, heck with it, I'm going to pull the trigger and it see what happens. So here in the very near future today, it's August 24th, 2023. I'm going to be tinkering around with creating my very first E book. Uh, it's going to be the electronic version of becoming the promise. You are intended to be. So be ready. I'll be, I'll be posting a bunch of stuff about that. Planning like a pre-order. Thing. Uh, to get some energy out there. I'm going to price it super cheap at like 3 99, because, because it's a digital thing, right. and the purpose of that is to make it super, super accessible to people because. the folks that have read the hard copy. A bunch of people who've reached out to me and shared how it's impacting their lives. And some, some of those reach-outs have become very deep. conversations about making significant life changes. and if I can contribute to that into some, in some way, That's what I'm here for. Uh, so be cool. And we'll talk at you next time.